Red Sky at Morning, Part 8b
by Sarah B.
First Lieutenant Christopher Stephens hummed to himself as he
climbed the stairs to the quarter-deck. True, the ship was pitching
something terrible, and true, it sounded as if there would be
a lot of damage to deal with later. But Stephens cared nothing
for that, for his future was secure. And once Kennedy was found
and he had time to deal with Lafferty, his past would be taken
care of also. So, let a little storm come. He felt he could withstand
a universe full of them.
Once on deck, however, his humming lessened a little. There was
a riot of debris and chaos, and the roiling seas seemed worse
when he could see them; the ship was rocking back and forth like
a rearing horse. He smelled smoke, looked up and saw that the
mainmast had been partially destroyed, probably by lightning.
Damn! He looked around and saw the crew frantically trying to
clear the huge splinters from the deck and keep the ship from
foundering.
Stephens tried to see through the murk to spy the Indefatigable,
and finally saw her, a grey blob thrashing in the water just like
the Courageous was, her signal flags still bearing the message
that had spurred him to action. There were more flags, telling
them not to execute Kennedy, which was a disappointment to many
of the men, but Stephens figured it was only a delay, and didn't
much care as long as he got to see him die sometime. She's a fine
ship, Stephens thought with a twinge of envy. Perhaps if Courageous
no longer suits me, I'll see what I can do there. There must be
a million opportunities...
But first things first. Here came the sailing master, teetering
through the horrid rain, out of breath and it seemed close to
panic. "Sir, thank God!" He sputtered, yelling over
the driving rain and thunder, "The mast's down, and the wind's
up awful fierce. Orders, sir?"
Oh that's right, Stephens thought in surprise, I'm in charge now.
He blinked, for it never occurred to him that he would actually
have to give commands as captain. He'd made lieutenant by way
of a family debt, and certainly never studied seamanship afterward.
Good Lord, what did one do in these situations?
There was a terrible crash, and lightning struck Courageous again,
rending the fore topgallant sail into charred scraps of fabric
that rained down on the deck. Stephens winced and let out a loud
curse.
"Sir?!" The sailing master cried, and through the mist
and rain Stephens saw other hands looking at him, coming toward
him, and he suddenly wanted very much to run and not deal with
this. And he would have, if the mist had been any thicker, but...
Suddenly he had an idea. "Abandon the ship."
The sailing master straightened up. "Sir?"
"You heard me. Don't worry, the Indefatigable will pick us
all up. Don't you see the sails are gone? She's done for."
It was a rash decision, Stephens knew it, but it was the easiest
solution. If everyone was off the ship, he wouldn't have to worry
about commanding them. But he would still have his rank, and although
he'd be court martialled for losing the ship there were a million
excuses he could give, and who would argue with him? Yes, it would
work. Feeling a wash of relief, Stephens nodded to himself and
said, "Yes...yes, tell all hands, abandon the ship. Now!"
The sailing master looked puzzled, but said quietly, "Yes,
sir." And went to make preparations.
Satisfied that he had delayed catastrophe for at least a little
while, Stephens decided to go see if Morgan had anything worthwhile
in his cabin before it was all dashed to pieces. He turned to
go look when something on the side of the ship caught his eye.
Someone was climbing aboard. Ah, Stephens thought, the marines
from the Indefatigable to get Morgan. Well, dealing with them
should be easy...
Only it wasn't just the marines. It was Hornblower.
Stephens stopped in his tracks, thrown. Hornblower brought himself
over the side of the heaving ship with a visible fury, and as
soon as both of his feet hit the deck he saw Stephens and moved
swiftly towards him. Every inch of him seemed about to explode.
Oh, DAMN, Stephens thought in panic, and then Hornblower was right
in front of him, his dark eyes blazing amber coals in the pouring
rain.
"Where's Morgan?" Hornblower demanded hotly, one hand
on his sword. Thunder boomed around them.
Stephens felt his composure slip, tried to hold onto it. "Now
look here Hornblower, you don't just come aboard my ship and shout
- "
"I said where's your captain!" Hornblower shouted, suddenly
taking Stephens by his collar and burning him with the anger in
his eyes.
"He's in the hold!" Stephens stammered, his confidence
evaporating. "I - I had him placed under arrest as soon as
we saw your flags. I...knew it was my duty, so I - "
"Where in the hold?" Hornblower's words were short,
snapped at the ends like dry twigs.
"Um - down near the handling chambers, where we store the
powder. I'll show you - "
Stephens tried to move away from Hornblower, but the other man
caught him by the shoulder and held him fast. "I am not finished
with you yet, Lieutenant Stephens. Where is Archie Kennedy?"
The ferocity of that question caused Stephens to momentarily lose
his voice, and when he didn't answer right away Horatio's face
grew dark and he yanked Stephens closer. "By God if he's
come to harm I'll see you keel-hauled under every ship in the
fleet - "
"No, no! He's all right!" Stephens squeaked, every cowardly
instinct jumping to the fore in the face of Hornblower's wrath.
"We had him down in the hold too, but - ah - I let him go.
I don't know where he is. But he's not dead, I swear it!"
Horatio threw Stephens away from him, against the two Indefatigable
marines standing there. Stephens stared at him for a moment, frightened
by the frenzied man in front of him drenched in rain and haloed
by lightning and thunder. Hornblower looked like he wanted to
kill him.
Instead, though, he looked at the two marines behind Stephens
and barked, "I am going to see Captain Morgan. Keep him here
until I return, or remove him to the boats if it becomes dangerous."
It took Stephens a moment to realize that Hornblower was talking
about him, and took a step forward, only to be held back by the
marines. Outraged, he sputtered, "Hornblower, what is this?"
Hornblower leveled his gaze at Stephens, then took two steps forward
and came almost nose-to-nose with him, those great dark eyes boring
holes into what was left of Stephens' soul. Stephens cowered under
that gaze; he couldn't help it.
"You," Hornblower seethed, "are also under arrest,
and will stand trial for the beating of Terry Whitehall. And if
I find so much as a misplaced hair on Mr. Kennedy's head, rest
assured you will answer for that as well." He paused, and
his eyes narrowed. "Your filthy kind has won for the last
time."
Stephens' mind reeled; this was not at all what he expected. He
took a step toward Hornblower, but was jerked backwards and clutched
tight. "God dammit, Hornblower, this is my ship!" he
cried, angrily struggling with the marine as Hornblower walked
away amid the lightning and slicing rain, "I'm in command
here, you can't just walk around on it without my permission!
Hornblower!"
Hornblower did stop, for one brief moment, to give him the blackest,
most hateful look Stephens had ever received, punctuated by another
horribly close, deafening crack of thunder. Then he turned again,
and disappeared quickly into the companionway.
"You're a dead man, Hornblower!" Stephens shrieked,
vengeful pictures of the shattered, empty Courageous trapping
Hornblower, Morgan, Kennedy, and Lafferty all to die together,
while he sailed triumphantly away. Grinning at that thought, he
shook his head and screamed again above the lightning, thunder
and crashing winds, "You're a dead man! Count on it!"
*******************************************************************************
The Indefatigable plunged and heaved in the roiling water, and
Bracegirdle almost fell three times before he finally made it
to Captain Pellew, who was standing at the railing peering through
the brutal waves and punishing rain, trying to see Courageous.
"The storm is getting worse, sir!" Bracegirdle bellowed,
noticing Pellew's pained look, "We must set ourselves farther
from the Courageous, before we're both scuttled!"
Pellew nodded, although Bracegirdle could see it was reluctantly.
"Very well, Mr. Bracegirdle!" He yelled back in reply,
"Set what boats you can in the water, to pick up men from
the Courageous!"
"Aye, sir!" Bracegirdle replied, and huddled himself
against the storm to go do his duty, leaving his captain to gaze
defiantly into the darkening winds.
**********************************************************************************
It was dark in the hold.
Archie put his hand out in the blackness, keeping the other firmly
clasped around Thomas' tinier one, and tried to find a way out
of the hold and back into the daylight. But the ship was lurching
and bucking, and every shift sent debris flying through the air.
Archie could see none of it, only heard crashes and splintering
wood, and so every time the ship yawed he crouched down over Thomas
until the movement eased, then began the tortuous journey again.
He had no real idea where they were. The passageway that Morgan
had come down was now dark and blocked by fallen goods, and they
had had to feel their way to get around it. The hold went the
length of the ship, and was very far down; just finding their
way to a companionway would be difficult, even in good weather;
in weather like this, it was almost a death sentence.
If I could find the carpenter's walk, Archie thought, we could
get out of here. The carpenter's walk also ran the length of the
ship, but was enclosed and did not pose the dangers creeping around
the hold did. If they could just -
The ship pitched again, sending horrible noises through the hold
as barrels and boxes tumbled together to the deck. Archie threw
himself over Thomas again, grunting as something heavy struck
his back. As soon as the rolling stopped, he felt for Thomas'
shoulders and asked, "Are you all right?"
"Yes," Thomas answered, although Archie could tell he
was frightened.
"Good," Archie responded into the dark, "Take my
hand, we're going to find a way out of here."
"Is Lieutenant Lafferty going to kill the captain?"
Archie paused, tugged at Thomas' hand but could not move him.
"I don't know."
"What if he doesn't, and the captain comes to find us?"
Archie heard the tremor in that young voice, the fear that was
making itself known in the darkness that surrounded them. "If
he does, I won't let anything happen to you, I promise."
"But you can't stop it."
Archie caught his breath.
"I know you want to, but you can't," There was an edge
to Thomas' voice, born of fear and pain and all the raw hurts
Archie was reliving at that very moment, "If you kill him,
someone else might come, and if you tell they won't believe you.
I don't want to go up there where everyone can see me. I want
to stay down here, maybe he won't find us down here. I can hide
down here."
"Thomas - " Archie began, then gasped as he felt a small
tug on his hand, and then nothing. he reached out his hand desperately,
but it was no use. There was nothing there.
Thomas had disappeared.
******************************************************************************
Horatio knew the storm was getting worse.
It was obvious; he could feel it in the frantic pitch and roll
of the great ship, hear it in the shrieking, mournful winds that
threatened to tear the vessel apart. It was as if God had finally
passed judgment on Courageous, and was destroying it.
But He couldn't, not yet. Not yet -
Horatio was down in the hold now, a flickering lantern his only
light. Everything swayed wildly, and anything not secured was
tossed about the decks like a child's toys. Horatio turned the
lantern this way and that, hoping to see a face that had so far
eluded him in the blackness. "Archie!"
Nothing. But surely he could not be heard...
The hold was deep and long, and Horatio made his careful way toward
the handling rooms, where Morgan was. He called out for Archie
as he went, aching to tell him that all was forgiven, that he
was acquitted, that he was free. But he shuddered as he looked
into that all-consuming darkness, could almost feel Simpson's
icy hands holding Archie back. Was Archie hiding somewhere, afraid
of being found and handed over to the noose? Or had he tried to
reach the daylight, only to be struck down as the ship pitched
and rolled? Both images terrified Horatio, and he called out again,
louder, "Archie!"
Nothing. Damn!
If only he could go look. But he must see to Morgan first, and
by the violent swaying of the ship Horatio knew it must be quickly.
Quickly -
Horatio's steps grew faster, and he clutched his sword as he thought
of what he would say to Morgan, when they met. All of his youthful
anger rose within him once again, at the thought of what they
had all suffered, and countless others too, all for one man's
callousness and ambition. All of the fury and helplessness he
had felt at Simpson's hands came rushing forward, and Horatio
almost ran. The hopeless anguish of Muzillac joined with it, and
he felt his cheeks flushing with an unstoppable rage. All that
anger, Morgan would feel. All of the pent-up agony that Horatio
had been forced to keep inside would be spent on Morgan, and if
there was a Being who was kind he would find Archie first, so
he could witness it, and believe it at last. I promise you, Archie,
Horatio swore as his friend's face came in to his memory, the
powerful and cruel will NOT triumph this time, arrogance and evil
will NOT go silently on while innocent souls are torn into Heaven.
All of our sorrows and trials will be shown their purpose. And
justice will finally be done for you.
Horatio was so focused on this thought that he reached the handling
rooms before he knew it. He stopped, feeling the ship rock beneath
his feet, and almost gasped at its intensity. He must be quick.
It was very dark in the hold, and Horatio knew he was very far
down, almost at the bottom of the ship. "Hello!" He
called out, knowing the marines guarding the hold room would answer.
The ship creaked and groaned its protest, but there was no other
sound.
Blast this noise, Horatio thought, and came upon an open storeroom
door with debris piled and scattered around it. "Hello!"
he called out -
- and froze.
Two marines lay on the deck in front of him, half-buried in the
detris, one with his throat cut and the other with a great bloody
wound on the side of his head. An open purse with the initials
JM stitched into the velvet was loosely clutched in the first
one's hand; it told the silent story of how the door had come
to be opened. And then -
Horatio ran forward and thrust the lantern into the storeroom,
his mouth gone dry and his mind shrieking with the mounting wind
that tore at the timbers around him.
The room was empty.
Morgan was gone.
**********************************************************************************************
Captain Pellew closed his eyes against the whipping winds for
a moment, cursing the thick clouds and slashing rain that were
keeping the Courageous out of his sight. Daylight was almost full
up now, but it seemed as dark as midnight; the storm continued
its furious blast, shoving the Indefatigable from side to side
and forcing many of the men to go below or tie themselves to their
posts to avoid being washed overboard.
And still Hornblower had not returned with Captain Morgan.
The lookout yelled something, pointing frantically, but Pellew
could not make it out. Bracegirdle had, though, and ran as fast
as he could to the wheel to give harsh orders to the helmsman.
Then he made his way to Pellew, his rain-soaked face white with
worry.
"Rocks, sir!" He called out, and Pellew's eyes grew
wide. "On our larboard side, I changed course so as not to
hit them, but our time is running out, sir!"
Pellew nodded, looking at the drenched masses of humanity that
were being brought over the sides of the ship, but none of them
looked familiar. His eyes went back to the Courageous with a sudden,
horrible thought, "Can she clear the rocks?"
Bracegirdle turned and squinted at the struggling ship barely
visible in the howling winds and spray, and said, "They're
deserting her like rats, sir! Likely there isn't even anyone to
steer her!"
"Damn!" Pellew swore, "Where's Hornblower?"
Bracegirdle looked down, his hat and face dripping with cold and
chilling rain, and was silent.
"Damn!" Pellew said again, wanting to scream out his
fury and frustration. He would go to the Courageous himself -
he would find Hornblower and Morgan, and Kennedy, and have his
men safe with him again - he would -
Suddenly there was a tremendous crash, and Pellew saw the Courageous
shudder and give a jagged lurch.
"She's hit the rocks!" someone yelled.
"Christ!" Bracegirdle breathed.
Oh, God, Pellew thought, not even minding the waves that were
building, building, and plunging them all up and down like a tiger
with a hare in its teeth. Oh, God, time is not running out.
Time is gone.
*******************************************************************
"Thomas!" Archie cried, straining to make his voice
heard amid the rising shriek of the burgeoning storm. "Thomas!"
The ship lurched again, sending Archie crashing against what felt
like stacks of coiled rope. He winced at the pain, but ignored
it as he fell to the deck on all fours and cried out again, "Thomas!"
It was dark, so dark. The way the ship was pitching told Archie
they were running out of time, that soon there would be water
at their feet, then over their heads. He would drown rather than
hang -
But he could not leave yet. "Thomas, please!"
He strained his hearing into the darkness and thought oh please,
don't let him be lost, not like this. Not in a painful night,
not hurting and alone, no -
Then he heard it. Very soft. Not very far away...
Crying again, but not like before. Not despair. Pain.
Archie sat still for a moment, focused on the sound. Then he moved
along the deck, quickly and silently, and just when the weeping
stopped put out his hand, and touched warm skin. Fingers, a hand.
Thomas' hand.
"Oh, God!" Archie almost wept with relief, then quickly
felt around, found the boy's arm, his face. "Thomas, are
you all right?"
"I thought you'd leave," Thomas whispered, his voice
wavering with disbelief.
Archie bit his lip and stroked the boy's hair in answer, then
frowned when he felt warm wetness on the boy's shirt. "Are
you hurt?"
There was a long pause, and Archie felt the small body shudder
under his touch. "N-no..."
"Thomas!" Archie pleaded, "Please, I can feel
it, you're bleeding. Where are you hurt?"
"My shoulder. Something fell on it, then on my leg. My leg
hurts worse." Thomas was crying again.
"Oh - " Archie felt around, felt something large and
round - a barrel, a heavy one. With a grunt he pushed it away
from Thomas' leg, then said, "I'm going to have to carry
you, can you be strong with the pain?"
Thomas' breath came in hitching sobs for a moment, then he said
in a bewildered voice, "You're not going to leave me here?"
"Thomas, I'd never do that. Put your arms around me, now,
as tight as you can."
Archie felt for Thomas' arms, leaned forward so the boy could
lift himself up, putting both hands on his sides to help. He felt
Thomas' arms around his neck and said, "There you go, that's
- "
What came next completely surprised him. Thomas tightened his
arms around Archie's neck with a tiny cry, clinging to him with
such desperate strength that Archie sat back with a hard thud.
The grip tightened further, and Thomas was truly crying now, but
the tears Archie felt against his neck were not tears of pain
or anguish. Archie recognized the song in those tears, the pure
unbridled and exhausted joy of finding a touch that did not hurt,
a hand that sought to heal instead of punish. He put his arms
around Thomas and held him tightly, very tightly so the boy knew
in that endless black and bottomless night someone was there and
would not abandon him.
The tears continued, and Archie held on, his own cheeks dampened
by the outpouring of a soul that seemed so very much his own.
It was as if he had been found at last, a young boy hurting and
alone in the shadows, and the child who drew strength from his
embrace and courage from his words was himself and this boy both.
He cradled that wounded soul, that frightened child, and felt
some part of himself take the warmth and draw healing from it.
Sighing deeply, Archie held the boy close to him and unashamedly
wept.
Slowly, the world came back to Archie once again and he heard
the screech of the timbers, and the rising gale outside those
night-dark walls. Get the boy out of there, now.
"Hold on, Thomas," Archie whispered, carefully rising
to his knees and wrapping his arms around the child so he would
know there was no letting go. Thomas obeyed, and Archie smiled
to himself. What had he ever feared? "Hold on, and trust
in me. I'm going to get you out of here. We're going home."
**************************************************************************
Lafferty started awake and opened his eyes, and thought he had
gone blind.
It was dark, he was in a dark place and the earth was jumping
and shifting like a fractured top. What -
CRRUUNCCCHH!
Lafferty was thrown around the floor, felt himself struck by several
small objects, and some point on the back of his head hurt like
hell. As soon as the room stopped moving, he grabbed at some iron
object and thought a moment. Where was he? What had happened?
Then he remembered. Morgan. Kennedy. And then -
Lafferty held his breath and realized he was holding onto an iron
bar. An iron bar...
A cell. The brig. He was in the brig.
The ship lurched again, a huge shock that sent Lafferty's legs
skidding out from under him. He tried to right himself, heard
faraway voices crying out to abandon the ship. He realized the
storm must have gotten worse, and wondered who had ordered him
into the brig. Did Morgan escape? Was he scuttling the ship?
Damn, if only there was some light in here!
Lafferty made a mental note of where he was on the ship, and bit
his lip as he used the iron bars to get himself into a standing
position. The brig on the Courageous was down low, on the orlop
deck, near the back of the ship and just inside the carpenter's
walk. If Morgan had escaped, he had to be found, and quickly.
But Lafferty had to get out of the brig first -
"Hey!" Lafferty shouted, knowing there would be a marine
stationed outside the brig. "Hey!"
Nothing.
Damn! Lafferty shook the bars in frustration. Had Kennedy made
it out? Wait a minute - he had someone with him - Lafferty strained
to remember, it was one of the loblolly boys, wasn't it? Had they
made it to Indefatigable and safety, or had Morgan gotten to them,
had he -
Lafferty couldn't stand it. He shook the bars violently and screamed,
"Heeey! Can anyone hear me? Hey!"
CRRRUUNNCCCHHHH!
Lafferty was once again thrown off his feet to the back of the
cell, There was another thunderous crash, deafening, and something
struck the door to the brig, smashing it into a thousand pieces.
When Lafferty made it to his feet again, he felt that the floor
was tilted badly, and righting itself with a sluggish reluctance.
Oh, no, he thought. Oh, no...
Then he looked up, and saw light. A weak, feeble light provided
by a swinging lantern hanging from a hook over the brig door.
The door itself was gone, shattered by a large piece of the bulkhead
which had crashed into it. But the bars were still intact, and
very locked.
Lafferty stared at that freedom, and yelled into it, "Hey!
Is anyone out there?"
Wait - was that someone coming? Lafferty squinted into the dull
light, saw an indistinct shape moving through the shadows.
"Hey!" he called out, his hopes leaping. "Hey!
Help me!"
The figure paused, came closer. Lafferty grasped at the bars,
almost in panic, opening his lips for one final call for help.
The words died on his lips.
It was Morgan.
Or was it? The light was so faint, and while the figure had Morgan's
formidable size and shape, it moved not with Morgan's menacing
grace but with a lurching, almost desperate stride, not like the
man Lafferty knew at all.
Then the figure came closer, and Lafferty saw that it was indeed
Morgan, but he was hunched over, one large hand grasping the other
shoulder, and the anger on his face was mixed with pain. He's
wounded, Lafferty realized, and wondered how that had come about.
Then Morgan reached the shattered doorway of the brig, and Lafferty
noticed two marines' pistols crossed on his belt.
Oh God, he's come to kill me, Lafferty thought with a gasp, and
took an involuntary step away from the bars.
Morgan stopped at the doorway and leaned against it, breathing
heavily. The ship lurched again, and he struggled to keep himself
upright as he glared at Lafferty.
"Interesting." was all he said.
Lafferty took a deep breath and lifted his chin to look at Morgan
defiantly.
But Morgan shook his head and shouted over the screaming of the
timbers. "Help me escape and I'll get you out of there."
Lafferty blinked, shocked. He fully expected Morgan to kill him,
but -
The ship rocked again, coupled with another hideous, grinding
sound.
"The ship is done," Morgan said with a shake of his
head, "It's holed, sinking! You'll be drowned in ten minutes.
I can save your life. Consider that, lieutenant!"
Lafferty's blood rose at Morgan's words, and he grasped the bars
in anger. "And be indebted to you? Never!"
Despite his obvious agony, Morgan sneered, "Don't be a martyr,
Lafferty! France is close, I'll be there by day's end whether
you help me or not. You might as well help me."
The storm was rising, becoming fiercer. Lafferty felt the ship
heave and buckle beneath him, and the shrieking in his ears was
almost deafening.
"You ever see a man drown, Lafferty?" Morgan panted,
"The helplessness, the agony of your lungs exploding in your
chest? You'd rather die like that than help your captain and live
to be an old man?"
Lafferty could hear the water crashing into the ship, could almost
feel it drenching him, filling his lungs, suffocating him. He
took a deep breath, felt faint.
The key to the cell was still hanging on its hook, and Morgan
used one hand to pick it off and dangle it in his bloodied fingers.
"Hurry up, Lafferty, you're out of time! Be my first lieutenant
again, and live in glory, or die like the turncoat rat I'll tell
everyone you are."
The ship jumped, slammed down, jumped again. Lafferty lost his
footing and fell against the far wall, and when he looked up Morgan
was at the cell door, the key almost in the lock, his form a huge,
black, looming silhouette in the cacophonous darkness.
"Life or death, Lafferty!" Morgan shouted.
Lafferty's eyes widened at the terrible spectre looming over him,
and for a horrifying second the howling winds, the sinister blackness,
and the awful helplessness he felt converged into another man's
memory -
** Creps wasn't alone. Someone else came - **
- and more memories, years of selfish indulgence and blind ambition,
tumbling forward into images of blood and suffering, and the hands
that moved to prevent it. His hands -
And with all the strength he had, Lafferty grabbed the iron bars
and hauled himself to his feet, staring into the bottomless abhorrence
in Morgan's eyes, never wavering from them. When he was upright
he took a deep breath and bearing his entire soul in his words
said in a low and scornful voice, "I would rather die like
a rat...than live like one."
And he spit in Morgan's face.
Morgan staggered backwards, his entire being shocked with rage.
Gasping with fury, he jammed the key to Lafferty's salvation in
his pocket and yanked one of the pistols from his belt, and aimed
it straight at Lafferty's stomach.
Lafferty didn't flinch, only lowered his head a little and stared
into Morgan's eyes. You won't see me cower, you bastard, he thought
quickly, his last thought on this earth. I'll show you what it
means to be an Englishman.
Suddenly the ship gave another gigantic lurch, and Lafferty grasped
the bars just as the pistol went off. The shot went wide, burning
a hole into the bulkhead behind him. The ship plunged the other
way, and Lafferty heard the horrifying, protesting wails of a
ship being torn painfully asunder. Oh God, it was breaking apart
-
He raised his eyes to Morgan, thought the other pistol would now
be used to finish him off. But Morgan was leaning against the
wall, his face pale and glistening with pain. He looked behind
him, grabbed the other pistol out of his belt, and gave Lafferty
one final, deadly glare, marking him.
Then he staggered over the broken door, and disappeared into the
shadows.
For a moment Lafferty stood there, hearing only the deafening
rush of the winds, the wail of the straining timbers, and the
sound of the waves slamming relentlessly against the ship mixing
with the frantic beating of his heart. He listened to those sounds,
and feared the painful death he was certain now was coming. Then
he took a deep breath and said to himself, "The easy death
be damned."
And began calling for help.
*****************************************************************
Horatio was frantic.
His heart beat a thousand times a second; his breath came in short,
fast bursts and he felt dizzy. But he couldn't stop, couldn't
rest, could not lay down his burden for one moment.
Morgan was escaping. And Archie was lost.
Oh, God, it was tearing his soul to pieces! Horatio ran through
the dying ship, feeling it shudder and lurch from one angle to
another, heard the tremendous whining and shattering that meant
only one thing: she was holed, and would sink soon. God, soon!
And Archie was still gone -
The way ahead was dark, treacherous. A few lamps were still lit,
but not nearly enough, and fires were scattered throughout the
Courageous' decks. She was burning, sinking, dismembering herself
in some great pageant of self-immolation, and Horatio could not
help but be fascinated by this opera of destruction, this tumultuous
riot of death that was occurring under his feet.
But he could not think on it, or anything except he had to get
out, had to reach Morgan, had to find Archie. There was no choice,
and in a few minutes he would have lost all three. All of them.
Oh God.
The ship keeled over, righted itself. Horatio continued his journey
topside, reasoning that Morgan's priority would be escape. He
would count on the rough seas to hide himself, rig up a jollyboat
and try for France. He might succeed too, and Horatio had to stop
him or all hopes of avenging the wrongs that man had done would
go to waste. But -
- but he did not know where Archie was.
Damn! Horatio's heart felt as if it would burst inside him. He
had to find Archie, had to tell him it was all right, he had been
cleared, he could come home. What despair might his friend be
in, that he may prefer to die alone on the Courageous rather than
be rescued only to hang as a criminal? Damn, he did not know!
He did not know -
"Archie!" Horatio cried out into the lamenting air.
But there was no reply.
Oh God, and he could not do both! He could not get to Morgan unless
he did it quickly, and he could not search for Archie unless he
stayed below. The Courageous would be kindling before the next
half hour, and if Archie was not topside when Horatio reached
the open air it might be too late for him. If he was not already
dead, crushed or burned somewhere far below...
No, don't think on that. Don't! "Archie!"
Horatio kept running forward, almost in tears at the terrible
choice he was forced to make. He ached and was exhausted, and
to know that salvation was so close and yet missed filled him
with a rage that his youthful inexperience could not express,
except to haul himself closer to the light above him and scream
at the same time, "ARCHIE!"
*bang!*
Horatio started, came to a stop. That was a gunshot - close? Not
very, distant, but -
He began to run.
It seemed to take forever, but as he came closer to where he thought
the shot might have come from Horatio thought he heard shouting.
"Hey! Heeey!"
Not Archie, someone else - a voice he knew. Horatio followed that
voice, stumbled over the myriad debris that blocked his path.
Suddenly -
"Hey! Hornblower? Over here!"
Good Lord! Horatio peered through the darkness, and suddenly recognized
the half-shattered passageway he was standing in.
He was in the brig.
"Hornblower? It's Lafferty! Hurry, I just saw Morgan!"
Horatio's heart started at that voice, and he ran to where the
door once stood, now a battered wreck beneath a large barrel.
He looked in, saw only shadows and within them, Lafferty's dim
outline where Archie had once stood, gripping the bars as he had.
"He's to the companionway by now," Lafferty said urgently,
"Hurry, Hornblower, he's going to escape!"
Horatio looked to where the key should have been. It was gone.
"Hornblower, are you listening to me?!" Lafferty's voice
sounded desperate. "Christ, never mind me, Morgan's trying
for France!"
Horatio pulled his pistol out and said, "Stand back from
the bars."
"Hornblower - "
"DO IT!"
Lafferty jumped, and obeyed.
The ship was tilting so badly it was hard to get an aim, but in
a moment Horatio had the pistol loaded and used both hands to
steady himself as he aimed at the lock.
BOOOM!!
With a flash and smell of burnt powder the door swung open, and
Horatio reached forward and pulled it the rest of the way.
"You're a fool, Hornblower!" Lafferty said as he hurried
through, "Thank you, but we have to catch Morgan, he's -
"
"No," Horatio said loudly, grabbing Lafferty's arm to
spin him around. He could sense the other man's surprise, even
in the dark. "No, listen to me, I will go after Morgan. I
need you - Archie may still be down here, and he does not know
he is free - "
Lafferty paused a moment, "Hornblower, if he's still down
here the odds of him still being alive are - "
He looked into Horatio's eyes, and stopped. Then he said, "I'll
find him."
"Thank you." Horatio said quickly, and grasped Lafferty's
shoulder in gratitude.
Then he turned and ran back down the lurching corridor toward
the companionway, as Lafferty's retreating footsteps tangled with
the screechings winds that climbed around them, and was lost.
**************************************************************************************
The little jollyboat that bobbed in the waves next to Courageous
was almost full, and still as he hauled men into the cramped space
Matthews kept wiping his face and looking at the ship that was
now staggering in the water like a blind man, his gray eyes wide
with hope.
"In ya go, mate!" Styles grunted next to him, hauling
a drenched sailor into the boat by the seat of his pants. As soon
as the man was in, Styles shook the driving rain out of his shaggy
hair and yelled, "We got to go, Matty! We'll be swamped if
we stay!"
"Not without th' lieutenant!" Matthews insisted, "Captain'll
skin us alive."
Styles peered at the Courageous, resentfulness and anger in his
gaze. "Think 'e'll bring Mr. Kennedy with 'im?"
"Oh, I'm sure he will," Matthews answered confidently
as the thunder broke overhead, "'e won't come back without
'im, you know that. Not Mr. Hornblower."
"Aye," Styles said, and there was a wealth of feeling
in that simple word. He looked over his shoulder and said, "'ey,
the Indy's on a different tack. She's gettin' further out."
"Don't worry, we'll find 'er," Matthews replied as he
clung to the sides of the boat, "Everybody stay down now!"
The crew of the Courageous seemed cowed, confused, and obeyed
Matthews' order without question. Styles noticed one man, a burly
tar with a bandaged hand, was staring at him sullenly. Something
about him compelled Styles to ask, "And 'o are you?"
The man didn't blink. "Havers. Bosun."
"What'd you do t'yer 'and?"
"Nothing," came the reply.
*****************************************************************************
Archie could not find the daylight.
He was struggling, and it was getting harder. Thomas was frightened,
but his injuries were making him dazed and groggy, and Archie
had to keep a strong grip on him so he wouldn't fall. But it made
moving much harder.
The deck was tilting, first one way, then the other. They had
reached the orlop deck, then the lowest gun deck, but so far it
was treacherous going. Water was spilling in everywhere, through
the gunports, down the companionways, from places Archie knew
meant death for the ship. The constant thrashing of the ship tore
guns loose from their places, and Archie could hear them crashing
all over the deck. And oh God if one of them struck him - oh God
-
Archie put black memories out of his mind, and kept climbing toward
the topdeck.
Thomas shifted against him, made a small cry of pain, and Archie
could feel the blood on his hand, where it had touched Thomas'
leg. He did not pray to God; his faith had never been strong enough
to ask favors of a god who seemed so capricious. He prayed to
his mother instead.
I've got to get him out of here, Archie thought desperately as
he strained to pull himself up the steepened deck. But it's dark
and dangerous and the light is so far away. It hurts, everything
hurts, but if I can just get him to the light it will be enough...help
me. It hurts. Help me.
Thomas roused a little, and let out another cry.
"Are you all right, Thomas?" Archie asked softly.
Thomas nodded a little, a complete lie of course.
If I can get him to stay awake, Archie thought, I can get him
home. "Thomas? Thomas?"
"Hm - aye sir?"
Archie grunted as he slipped on the deck, and righted himself.
"Listen, I think - I think I should like some song, to go
with our little journey. Do you - " Archie paused to grab
onto a wooden joint, and pull himself forward, "Do you know
any?"
"Songs?"
"Yes."
Thomas thought, tightening his grip on Archie's neck as he did
so. That's it, Archie thought, that makes it easier. "Just
Christmas songs."
"Splendid. Would you - oof! - would you sing one for me?"
"Hmmm..."
It was so dark, and there were terrible sounds all around them.
The cold water at his ankles made Archie afraid, afraid that after
all this he would fail, he would not be strong enough, and they
would be lost. For a moment he rested, one hand against a rough
wooden beam, and closed his eyes.
"Joy to the world, the lord is come...let earth receive her
king..."
Archie opened his eyes. Over the gnashing winds and death throes
of this terrible ship, that one tiny voice, hushed and aching,
was absolutely clear.
"Let every heart prepare him..room...and heaven and nature
sing, and heaven and natur sing..." Thomas faltered, then
paused. "I don't remember all of it."
"That's fine, Thomas. Just as much as you can."
He felt Thomas nod against him. "No more let sin and sorrow
grow, nor thorns infest the ground...He comes to make His blessings
flow, far as the curse is found...far as, far as the curse is
found."
Archie took a deep breath, and pressed forward, the small and
wounded voice his beacon in the darkness.
*************************************************************************
Stephens cursed his rotten luck.
The storm was getting worse. Everyone else on the ship was gone,
jumped overboard or dead. The marines who held him prisoner were
hunching against the quarterdeck overhang, the rain and wind slicing
at them from every angle. He was held fast between them, every
nerve primed for escape, and it would be so easy! If only they
would try for the boats, they'd be washed over in a minute. The
waves were crashing over the Courageous' deck, and in another
ten minutes she'd be under the water. But the stupid marines wouldn't
budge.
Of course, Stephens sighed to himself, the real reason they weren't
moving was that all of the rescue boats from the Indefatigable
were full, and they had to wait for an empty one to come back.
But why didn't they at least try to get to the railing? He could
easily trip one, and once they were down it was a short journey
to the railing and the afterlife. And the other would probably
try to help them, that ship seemed to be lousy with loyalty...
God DAMN that Hornblower! Stephens wrung his tied hands in impotent
anger. If he could just get his hands on him, for one minute!
He hated Hornblower worse than he hated Lafferty, because he'd
seen Lafferty drunk, knew at heart he was a coward and was just
following what was popular. That's what Lafferty was, a follower.
But Stephens knew *he* was a leader, and would have a brilliant
career if he could just get free and go strangle Hornblower! But
that self-righteous little prig would have him tried for beating
up that little lawyer, and probably end his career for good. That
Whitehall had asked for it didn't seem to cross anyone's mind.
Stephens decided he wouldn't mind giving that little snot a couple
more kicks, either.
Blast this storm! Stephens squinted into the gray air, saw a couple
of little jollyboats making their careful way across the pounding
seas and thought, if I just had one of those...just one to myself...
"'ere come the boats," one of the marines said breathlessly.
"'bout bloody time," the other replied, and took a step
away from the overhang to hail them.
BANG!!!
Stephens started as the marine slumped to the deck, a red puddle
forming beneath what was left of his head.
"What the - " the other marine lifted his musket and
started out of the overhang.
BANG!!!
He flew backward, landing hard against Stephens and collapsing
to the deck, a hideous gurgling noise coming from his throat and
the terrible wound in his chest. Stephens took a few quick steps
away, terrified, and as he tried to untie his hands looked up
to see what had happened.
There, hunched over and clinging to the railing on the poop deck
with a smoking pistol in his hand, his cape whipping around him,
was Captain Morgan. Stephens saw blood running down his limp left
arm and total pain and exhaustion on his face. But not defeat.
"Stephens," he screamed hoarsely above the thunder and
the rain and the ceaseless winds, "You traitorous little
piece of shit. How would you like to make a deal?"
*******************************************************************************************
"The last boats are away, sir!" Bracegirdle yelled to
Pellew as he made his way up the quarter-deck stairs. "We'll
see the last of the Courageous' crew soon!"
Pellew nodded, and Bracegirdle could see the tightness in his
face. The sky could not be blacker, the winds more fierce, or
the Indefatigable in more peril. Bracegirdle knew Pellew's eyes
were fixed, as his were, on the great ship too close and too far
away, wraking itself to pieces on the jagged rocks. In the rain
and the haze it was hard to judge where she would turn next, and
that was the danger; for while the Indefatigable could tack, without
her crew the Courageous could not.
And the Courageous had no crew.
For the moment they were safe; the Courageous was facing broadside,
and without her mainsails not moving much in the water. But if
she turned, or if the waves and wind brought them closer together...
Bracegirdle followed Pellew's eyes to the deck of the Courageous,
hoping to see Hornblower and Kennedy, along with the disgraced
captain Pellew wanted to cut into little pieces. He saw rain and
darkness, and boats full of the Courageous' crew coming aboard
the Indy's windswept decks, and a large and dying ship that could
tear loose any moment and lumber into them like a great wooden
juggernaut -
- but he didn't see Hornblower. And Bracegirdle wondered what
the hell was going on.
*******************************************************************************
Horatio struggled along the rapidly tilting passageway, and used
his raw anger as a rope to guide him along.
The Courageous did not have much time left; She was dying by degrees,
her list becoming more an d more pronounced, her timbers bellowing
in rage. She's going down by the starboard side, Horatio thought,
and reasoned that Morgan would seek his escape there, where the
closer waters would afford him easy escape. If Horatio was just
in time -
He was at the middle deck now, dodging the careening cannon carriages
that shifted and bounced around the deck as the ship shifted.
In the dark this was a heart-stopping game, and Horatio kept thinking
of Archie's friend, who had been killed when a gun carriage ran
over his legs. But no, Horatio decided, I will not allow myself
to die here, to haunt this wreckage of decency. I will drag myself
to the Indy if I must wait for the water to carry me there...
This gloomy frame of mind was replaced by the much more immediate
need to see and be free of the deck, and Horatio picked his way
as quickly as he could among the piled-up wreckage and scattered
tables and timbers that blocked his way. Everything was wet and
jagged, and he cut himself more than a few times, but Horatio
bit away the pain and kept on, trying not to hear the rampaging
storm outside, or feel the deck sway and tremble beneath his feet.
And then, suddenly, he saw the companionway stairs.
Thank God! Horatio thought in a burst of unaccustomed spirituality.
He paused for a moment and made a quick plan of apprehension.
Then, with hands made only a little unsteady by his overwhelming
desire to capture Morgan, he loaded his pistol, took a deep breath,
and stepping over broken barrels, chairs, and discarded hammocks,
he made his way to the stairs, and the raging daylight beyond.
*******************************************************************************
Archie began to fear that he could not make it.
He was close, he knew it; he had carried Thomas up a couple of
decks, and knew the daylight could not be far away. But Thomas
had drifted off again, the decks were so dark, and everywhere
he tried Archie was met with unscalable debris and blocked paths.
The way had been tortuous and slow; Archie could feel his strength
fading out at the last.
But no. No! This child trusted him. If Archie could just get him
to safety, see him to the Indy and a warm dry home, then he could
collapse. There was nothing on this ship but pain and death and
misery, and this child would not have those as his last memories,
never! Oh God, there was so much he did not know, so much that
his pleading eyes had told Archie he had been denied.
And he would have those things, if Archie had to die to give them
to him.
Archie gritted his teeth and hoisted himself and Thomas over a
jagged pile of fragmented lumber, wincing at the pain in every
joint as he did so. He had protected Thomas from every danger
he could sense, and had been cut and bruised all over his body,
but fought the shock and overwhelming fatigue that threatened
to engulf him. He clutched Thomas to him with first one arm then
the other, but now both trembled with exhaustion and Archie knew
soon he would simply collapse. But no, surely salvation was not
far...
Just a little more...the ship suddenly tilted again, and Archie
crouched against the nearest bulkhead, cupping himself over Thomas'
unconscious form as another rain of loose objects fell against
him. He was just about to get up when he heard another sound,
a terrible shrieking rumbling noise that was coming right at them
-
Oh my God a CANNON
CRASH!!!
The huge object embedded itself in the wall not six inches from
where Archie was crouched, and with a sharp cry he jumped forward,
wrapping Thomas in an instinctively protective embrace and did
not move for several seconds. He trembled, almost wept, every
nerve shredding into a thousand painful memories that rose up
like hungry demons to clutch at him, his mother's face fading,
empty rooms and cold endless days, his early friends lost to death
and betrayal and then -
- Jack's missed you, boy -
- first you, then your friend, maybe we'll let you watch -
Oh God he was so tired. So tired and the daylight was so far...
Then, muffled against his chest, Thomas made a small sound of
pain.
NO. With a monumental effort, Archie pushed those demons back,
forced his cramping joints to move, to stand, to hold. He leaned
against the bulkhead for a moment, tears in his eyes, and prayed
to his mother with every ounce of strength he had left. He had
to save this child. Had to -
Then, suddenly, someone was at his side, taking his arm. "Kennedy!
This way!"
What? Archie felt someone pulling him, quickly, and staggered
to keep up. He shifted Thomas in his arms, felt himself almost
running.
"Come on! The ship's sinking!"
Archie obeyed, unsure whether this was really happening or if
perhaps he was dreaming, or dead. Where were they -
Light. Archie saw light.
"Hurry!" The figure said, but Archie felt a rush of
new strength at that sight and did not need prompting. He stumbled
toward that bliss, felt those strong hands steady him, and miraculously
saw the stairs, and the square of sky above them. It looked dark,
windy and dangerous; but the sun might as well have been in full
vigor, for the tears that filled Archie's eyes at the beauty of
it.
His benefactor pushed him toward the steps, "You first, I'll
help - "
Archie looked, thought he would see Horatio perhaps, but instead
saw a youth with straight dark hair who he did not know. The youth
looked at him for a quick second, then reached for Thomas. "Here,
I'll - "
"No," Archie said softly, and with a newfound vitality
held Thomas closely to him, and stubbornly climbed the stairs
into the light, feeling the stranger's hands on his back, in case
he should fall.
But he did not fall. And ten seconds later, Archie Kennedy felt
the salt air on his face and knew that he had gotten Thomas home.
"I'm Philip Lafferty," The other youth said, springing
up beside him. Archie was taking everything in, the roiling storm
clouds overhead, the crashing thunder and lightning, the rain
and wind that stung as it bit into their faces. And out in the
churning waters, not far away -
"The Indy!" Archie cried, and his heart leapt at the
sight. He staggered up those last few steps, and stumbled over
the deck to the railing, still holding Thomas tightly.
"God, Kennedy!" Lafferty cried out, stripping his jacket
off and putting it around Thomas, "Take it easy, God, look
at you! What - "
"My crew - " Archie gasped, blinking rapidly, for he
could see boats in the water, men in the boats who he knew, Styles,
Matthews, Oldroyd - oh God, they were there, he could trust them,
they would - they would -
He felt himself fading, cried over the howling winds, "Matthews!
Matthews!"
The old seaman looked up, and Archie was surprised he should smile
so at a condemned man. "Sir! Thank the Lord!"
Archie shook his head to clear the rain from it, was surprised
when Lafferty appeared a moment later with a length of rope that
he had fashioned into a sling to lower Thomas down in. Hastily
fastening it around Thomas' waist, Archie held the boy in front
of him and felt his heart lurch at how pale the child was. And
his eyes were closed..."Thomas? Thomas!"
"Huh?" The boy struggled to open his eyes.
Archie took his face in both hands. "Thomas, I'm going to
lower you to the care of my crew, they're good men and they'll
take care of you. I'll follow shortly after, all right?"
"You're going?" Thomas roused a little, and took one
of Archie's hands in his own.
"Not for long," Archie promised, and pressed his cheek
to the boy's briefly before very gently setting him over the side.
"I have him," Lafferty said somberly, "Don't worry."
Archie nodded, looking at the waves and knowing that a rogue wash
at the wrong moment could rip Thomas away from them, or if the
ship should take a sudden, unexpected roll...
Matthews was standing in the boat, and Thomas seemed to know enough
to put his hands and feet against the lurching ship, to steady
himself. A few heart-stopping minutes later, the boy was nestled
in Matthews' arms, and Archie knew he would be all right.
Breathing a tremendous sigh of relief, Archie slumped against
the railing for a moment before turning his eyes to Lafferty and
saying, "Thank you."
Lafferty just stared at him, his rain-soaked face pale and exhausted.
"You look like hell."
Archie squinted at him. "Who are you?"
Just then all hell broke loose.
The ship gave a mighty heave, lifted with the howling winds to
plunge itself back into the waves with a fearful vengeance. Gasping,
Archie looked up at the sails, saw they were still fully unfurled
except for the lightning-blackened mainmast.
"The ship's been abandoned!" Lafferty yelled above the
winds, "There's no one to take in the sails!"
Archie looked around frantically. The small boat with his crew
in it was rowing away, out of danger, but the ship was careening
through the water like a blind bull, the savage winds and pounding
waves driving it -
"God!" Archie cried out, "It's headed for the Indefatigable!"
Lafferty's eyes widened as he saw that the Courageous was indeed
hurtling towards the other ship. "Shit!"
"The wheel!" Archie cried, and both men stumbled across
the slippery, tilting deck toward the only means of turning the
great ship from its destructive path.
With strength he didn't know he had, Archie scrambled up the quarterdeck
steps toward the wheel, desperate to turn the Courageous aside
and halt her murderous course toward the Indefatigable.
Lafferty was right behind him, hands steadying him, almost pushing
him up the stairs. The rain was almost a wall of water now; it
was hard to see, hard to move through. It was like being underwater.
Finally the wheel was reached, and Archie put both hands on it,
looking at the Indefatigable through stinging, rain-blinded eyes.
Oh God, she was dead ahead -
Archie wrenched the wheel over. It spun free in his hands and
knocked him to the ground.
"Damn!" He cursed over the howling winds. "Her
rudder's gone!"
Lafferty's face was white as he bent over Archie and looked at
the Courageous' bow slicing through the water. "Shit!"
Archie took two deep breaths, then clasped Lafferty's shirt in
one bloodied hand and gasped, "Club haul!"
Lafferty leaned closer. "What?"
"Club-haul, lieutenant! Drop the anchor and cut it when the
Indy's out of danger! Hurry!"
Lafferty looked once again at the mist-shrouded ghost that was
all too real, and knew there was no time to argue. As Archie braced
himself against the wheel, Lafferty ran from the deck to do as
he was told.
******************************************************************************
A short distance away, Pellew was already aware of his ship's
peril. His eyes grew round at the sight of the Courageous breaking
from her lethargy to lunge toward them like a stalking beast,
and above the keening winds he could hear Bracegirdle giving anxious
commands, to try and avoid a collision that would surely sink
both of them.
Oh God, he prayed, Hornblower and Kennedy are still on that ship,
I cannot bear to lose them like this. And my own ship -
He looked in fascinated horror at the unmanned behemoth pitching
forward to destroy them, and prayed for a miracle.
**********************************************************
At the same time, Horatio was poking his head through the companionway,
wincing as the cold slashing wind stung his face. He quickly studied
the list of the ship, looked out and saw the Indefatigable heaving
up, down, closer, closer.
Oh, Christ. He thought. He had to find Morgan, now.
He heaved himself out of the companionway, both feet landing solidly
on the rain-washed deck. The ship was listing to starboard; he
reasoned that Morgan would head for the larboard side, hoping
to find an empty boat to steal. He would not waste time -
Horatio gripped the pistol firmly in his hand, began making his
way forward. All of the boats would be away now, so Morgan would
have to count on finding a drifting one, or commandeering one
of the Indy's. Horatio swallowed hard, remembering the blasted
remains of the marines he had seen; Morgan would not hesitate
to take over a boat and kill the occupants. Indeed he would not...
The ship heaved and tilted in its death throes, and Horatio cast
an anxious eye to the Indy, saw it closer yet. A vision rose up,
he was once on a fire ship, seeing the Indy loom too close as
it was doing now. But he could not turn aside to prevent this
- he had to -
Horatio turned his head and saw Julius Morgan.
It was difficult to see through the wind and rain, but far forward
Horatio could see the great black cloaked man, bent over as if
in pain, and another man -
- another man. God, it was Stephens! Horatio grabbed onto whatever
he could, making an agonizingly slow progress forward. Stephens
was going over the railing - now he was gone - Horatio cast himself
to that side of the ship and saw a boat with two oars, and Stephens
dropping into it - God -
Now Morgan was reaching for a rope that hung from the foremast,
a with a gasp Horatio realized the end Morgan was lowering into
his hand had a noose on it. Morgan was making sure the other end
was secure, and moving to the railing. No -
With a straining effort Horatio pulled himself against the ship's
demonic gravity, and with the last ounce of his energy reached
the forecastle and pulled himself upright, drawing out his pistol
as he did so. In a voice that cut through the rain and the wind
and the deafening thunder he aimed the pistol and Morgan's head
and shouted, "STOP!" -
- and an instant later was looking into the cold and corrupted
eyes of Julius Morgan, and the marine's pistol aimed at his own
head.
"Don't be a fool, lieutenant," Morgan growled, his voice
harsh and rasping.
Undaunted, Horatio took a step forward. "You will return
with me to Indefatigable," he said in his best commanding
voice, screaming to be heard over the wind.
Morgan shook his head and glanced over his shoulder, "You
won't shoot me, lieutenant. You want me alive, but I don't mind
killing you. And in a minute you won't have any ship to take me
to."
Horatio did not want to look. He knew Morgan was telling the truth;
but he did not want to look.
Morgan turned to the boat below, with Stephens in it, and grinned
wolfishly. "I'm sorry you had to find out life's truths the
hard way, lieutenant. Just think, if you'd listened to me from
the start you might have saved some lives. But I guess Muzillac
gave you an appetite for waste, didn't it?"
Horatio took a deep breath, another step forward, tried to hide
the desperation he was beginning to feel. "You will surrender
to me, Captain. You are under suspicion of treason and must -
"
"Must be damned to you!" Morgan cried into the shrieking
winds as he gripped the rope with both hands. "I must survive,
lieutenant, and not rot in any cell or bow to any man. I offered
you the world and you wouldn't take it, so take death and may
your world go with you!"
He moved to lower himself into the boat, and Horatio fired off
a shot, singeing the hair on Morgan's head. Morgan started, then
gave Horatio a grisly smile and turned to leap from the railing,
the rope tied around his waist, toward escape and freedom. Horatio
stepped forward to do anything, anything to stop this -
Then, without warning, the Courageous gave a mighty, deafening
lurch forward and Horatio was swept off his feet and skidded hard
into the railing. Everything tilted at a hard, steep angle and
Horatio saw the ocean veer toward him as the ship heeled right
over and Morgan -
Morgan, still tethered to the rope, was jerked off the railing
and cast cursing into the raging winds. Horatio watched in horrified
fascination as he was thrown far from the side of the ship, and
then snapped up tight like a fish on a hook. Then the ship jerked
back, as if it were snagged on something, and with the loudest,
most profane words Horatio had ever heard, Julius Morgan was catapulted
back through the air and slammed with the force of a cannon blast
against the side of the Courageous.
Horatio heard the sickening thud and winced at the impact, felt
the breath rush from his body in response. The ship rocked again,
and Morgan, still entangled in the noose, was thrown screaming
away from the ship and smashed against it again, then a third
time, the entire gruesome display framed in lightning and thunder
and burned into Horatio's memory forever.
Then the abrupt movement of the ship eased, and Julius Morgan
was dead.
For a few moments Horatio could not think, simply stared in numb
shock at the grisly scene before him. The Courageous stopped her
movement, and there was nothing but a huge gash of blood on the
side of the ship and what was left dangling on the noose of the
man who would have killed Archie. For a few moments Horatio could
not breathe.
Morgan was dead. And he had died cursing God -
Dead - Archie - Indefatigable - the words pushed their way through
Horatio's daze, and he tried to quell his trembling and staggered
to his feet. They were caught on something, what? Horatio looked
through the rainstorm to see the Indy was no longer looming too
close, that something had stopped their destructive descent. He
felt the Courageous tug and thought, the anchor. The anchor's
down -
Horatio heard rough wooden sounds below him, saw Stephens frantically
grabbing at the oars of the jollyboat, and with a low-throated
growl reloaded his pistol and shot a hole in the bottom of the
boat. Stephens shrieked and raised both hands in the air, looking
up at Horatio with saucer-wide eyes before the boat began to sink.
Horatio knew he would stay where he was until a boat could pick
him up.
Morgan was dead. Horatio saw the taut rope still angling over
the side of the ship, but it did not sink in, not quite yet. Morgan
was dead.
And the Courageous was dying...
Horatio hurried to the other side of the ship, saw to his relief
that Matthews' jollyboat was still there, down amidships. He began
to make his way there, desperate to abandon this accursed vessel,
but swore silently when he did not see Archie in the boat. Had
Lafferty failed to find him? Oh God, he had to -
Without warning the Courageous pitched again, and before he could
stop himself Horatio was pitched over the railing, and an eternity
later struck the water painfully.
God! He thought, and struggled to swim, but the water was tearing
at him, pulling him down, and it was only when he struck something
hard and flat once, then twice, that Horatio realized that it
was an oar, and grabbed it wildly.
"Thank the Lord, sir!" Matthews said as he hauled Horatio
aboard. "Ye all right, sir?"
"Yes, thank you, Matthews," Horatio answered dazedly,
vaguely noting the presence of Styles, and Oldroyd, who held a
small child wrapped in a lieutenant's jacket. Was this all real?
Matthews looked around, then up.
Horatio guessed what he was thinking. "Morgan is dead."
Matthews' eyebrows came up, but he simply said, "Aye sir."
Horatio sat up, looked around desperately, "Mr. Kennedy?"
Matthews shook his head. "'e was along before, but 'e gave
us the child and went back. Ain't seen him since, sir."
The Courageous was truly foundering now, rocking back and forth
and disintegrating into the pounding seas. Horatio stood up, not
heeding the howling winds or waves that threatened to smash into
them at any moment, and yelled, "Archie! Archie!"
Someone's face popped over the side, and Horatio recognized it
as Lafferty.
"Lafferty, jump!" Horatio called out, "Now!"
Lafferty swung himself over the side of the shuddering ship, and
landed just next to the jollyboat.
"We've got ye, sir," Styles said as he hauled Lafferty
aboard by his collar.
"Where's Kennedy?" Horatio screamed.
"He was at the wheel!" Lafferty sputtered, his eyes
going to the shuddering hull of the Courageous in fright, "The
rudder was gone, he ordered me to club-haul - I just cut the anchor
line - damn!"
Horatio searched the tall, forbidding hull in distress. "ARCHIE!"
Then, miraculously, Archie appeared.
Horatio gasped when he saw him. Archie's face was cut, his torn
white shirt bloodied and stained. Horatio waved to his friend
frantically, saw Archie stand at the rail uncertainly, as if he
was thinking salvation over.
"Archie, jump!" Horatio screamed, feeling his throat
turning raw. "You'll be all right!"
Archie put both feet over the railing, but still stood at the
lip, not jumping. The wind whipped his shirt, his long blond hair
that half-covered his face. He looked terrified.
Then Horatio remembered what Archie did not know and shouted,
"Archie, a witness was found! You won't hang, you've been
acquitted!"
As soon as the words were out of Horatio's mouth he knew he had
said the wrong thing. Archie knew what a witness meant, the secrets
that had been revealed, and clung to the crumbling hulk of the
Courageous as if suddenly terrified to let go. For a long, agonizing
moment he did not move.
Then the child Oldroyd had been holding stirred in his lap, and
looked up at Archie with eyes that struck Horatio with the age
in them. They were like Archie's eyes.
Archie saw this too, and Horatio saw him hesitate. Saw him start
to let go -
- then saw the wave, too late. "ARCHIE, WAIT!"
The wave hit.
It almost swamped the boat, and Styles and Matthews both grabbed
buckets and began to quickly bail the water out. Oldroyd held
the child well out of harm's way, but Horatio stared in agonized
horror at the hull of Courageous, now halfway under water, and
Archie was not there. He wasn't -
Horatio lurched toward the icy waves, Lafferty at his side. "ARCHIE!"
Matthews grabbed him, "Sir, don't!"
Horatio fought him off, stared mindlessly into the churning waters,
unable to comprehend the pain of what he was seeing. "Oh,
God! ARCHIE!"
Matthews' voice cracked as he said, "Come sir, we got to
get away - we'll be sucked down if we don't - "
"No, damn you!" Horatio pushed him away and cried into
the blackness, saw the souls of Mariette and Muzillac and another
drifting, too-young soul, and railed against it. "ARCHIE!"
Styles grabbed his shoulder, so hard Horatio cried out, and twisted
him around, "Sir, look!"
Horatio could not see through his tears. He blinked, wiped at
his eyes frantically, saw nothing but the crashing waves and the
deadly sea that he hated, hated, and could never love again -
- then, remarkably, he saw something else. A form moving slowly,
agonizingly, along the jollyboat's towline.
Good God!
Horatio sprang forward with Styles close behind, and together
they hauled the towline in, with Archie grasping the end of the
rough hemp rope in bloodied fingers which had been burned raw.
With a cry of joy, Horatio reached forward and wrapped his hands
around Archie's shoulders, pulling him into the boat with a huge
groan of effort. They hit the boat bottom together, painfully
and with a pair of loud grunts, and as he struggled to his feet
Horatio saw that the crew was already rowing them away, and Courageous
was sinking quickly beneath the waves, covered in rain and darkness,
taking her loathsome captain with her to rot at the bottom of
the sea.
Horatio watched that spectacle for a moment only, then turned
to the gasping, panting young man before him, who looked as bloody
and exhausted as he felt himself. Meeting his eyes, Archie gave
a shaky, lopsided salute and whispered, "Thank you, Mr. Hornblower."
Then he collapsed.
***************************************************************************
The storm passed, the rain cleared away, and that morning for
the first time in a week, the sun shone gently over everything
that been clothed in darkness. Later that day, as he dressed to
go ashore, Horatio thought that it could not have been more fitting.
The Indefatigable returned to the safety of Plymouth harbor, carrying
the survivors of the Courageous and one man who was immediately
placed under arrest. Exhausted, aching and spent, Horatio nevertheless
insisted that everyone elses' needs be seen to first, shrugging
to Pellew's anxious expression that he was merely worn out, and
in no immediate need for treatment. And the first person he put
into the sick berth was Archie Kennedy.
Horatio silently praised his captain's foresight; knowing that
their own surgeon lacked the professional touch, as soon as they
made port Pellew had arranged for his own personal physician to
see to Archie's hurts while Hepplewhite contented himself to look
after everyone else. For his part, Archie had said nothing since
they had all reboarded Indefatigable and were sent straight to
the sick berth. And when he had put on a clean uniform shortly
thereafter and gone ashore with Captain Pellew, the silence had
not changed. He seemed dazed.
And no wonder! From the moment his feet hit the deck until the
storm cleared and he made plans to go ashore, Horatio heard as
much about Archie's heroism as he did about Morgan's death, and
those two topics were all anyone talked about. The official report
was in Pellew's cabin, and that reading was exciting enough; but
it was hearing the men talk about it, seeing the animation in
their eyes and hands as they recounted what they had seen and
heard of, that gave Horatio the uneasy feeling this was all moving
into legend. He was not sure he liked that; he would rather it
were forgotten, and something like a normal life resumed.
But that was a vain hope, and would be for a long time to come.
Everywhere he went, Horatio heard snatches of conversation - "the
worst storm I've ever seen," "The ship deserted, and
thrashing itself to pieces mind you," "Thrown out like
a fish on a hook, then all six feet of him smashed against the
hull!" "God! I wager he never thought he'd go out like
that - "
No indeed. That was the only part of the tale that bothered Horatio,
that Morgan would never stand trial for his crimes, never answer
to the countless souls that had fallen before him. Despite Pellew's
lavish praise and commendation, Horatio was still trying to think
of some way he could have kept Morgan from being killed. It was
divine retribution he supposed, if one believed in that sort of
thing; he did not, and so felt some shame that he had not been
able to achieve a truly satisfactory ending. But still -
But still! If there was anything to bring Horatio out of his melancholy,
it was hearing Archie's name heralded on every man's lips as a
hero. Horatio was not certain how the truth was first brought
to light, but it seemed that once one man knew Archie had given
the command to drop the anchor and thus saved the Indefatigable
from being destroyed, they all knew. And Archie Kennedy, the one-time
victim and shame of the entire British Navy, was now Archie Kennedy,
the vindicated hero and complete triumph of English courage and
strength over the hardest adversity.
Adversity...Horatio finished sweeping the dust from his clean
lieutenant's uniform and sighed. Thank God only a few people knew
what adversity Archie had truly undergone. His vindication depended
on the revelation that someone had witnessed his beating at the
hands of not only Creps but Captain Morgan as well - and it seemed
great pains had been taken to ensure that it be known as a beating,
and not the more violating and humiliating truth. It was guessed
at, of course, but Pellew had told Horatio - and presumably Archie
as well - that officially, to the world, there was no grounds
to it. The crime was just as heinous - and Mr. Kennedy's redemption
just as complete - no matter what the wording. Horatio was glad
of that, for Archie's sake.
And now...with a last look at himself in the mirror, Horatio took
up his hat and prepared to go ashore and see his good friends
and new ones, for the Indefatigable had already gotten her orders,
and it would soon be time to go. But still plenty of time left
to say goodbye.
***********************************************************************************
The streets of Plymouth were bustling, vibrant; it seemed that
every soul was out enjoying the rare sunshine, and talking ceaselessly
of the morning's events. Horatio, in Mr. Bracegirdle's company,
watched the pageant with an amused smile.
"I haven't seen this many people so happy since the death
of King Louis," Horatio commented as he looked about him,
"Can they really be so bloodthirsty?"
"Perhaps," Bracegirdle replied with a sideways smile,
"But it is more than that, lieutenant. You've not known much
oppression, and please God you never will. But from all this I've
got a feeling that Morgan had his hands around more throats than
one, and now that he's gone and the Courageous scattered to the
winds, it's a relief. Until the next tyrant comes."
"Then we shall be ready for him," Horatio muttered,
and did not know why his earnest rendition of that comment made
Bracegirdle laugh.
They walked on, down the street toward the Dove, and were still
half a block away when Horatio heard a familiar voice joyfully
calling his name, and saw Terry Whitehall almost running down
the street to meet him.
"Good God, Terry, your injuries!" Horatio laughed when
Terry came close enough.
"Oh, who cares!" Terry exulted, and moved to embrace
Horatio before stopping himself. "I suppose you naval types
don't encourage open displays of affection."
Horatio grinned and said in mock-seriousness. "A proper salute,
Mr. Whitehall, if you don't mind."
Terry obliged, with the most exaggerated and disrespectful salute
Horatio had ever seen. "I knew there was a reason I never
wanted to join the navy!"
Horatio laughed and put a hand on Terry's shoulder as Bracegirdle
said, "Then I take it you've heard."
"God, are you kidding? It's all over Plymouth - probably
all over England by now! Horatio, you are one incredible human
being."
"It comes from having the right friends," Horatio returned
with a warm smile, "Thank you, Terry, for helping Archie
and drafting the letters that set him free."
"Like he needed my help!" Terry responded with admiration.
"I heard he stopped the Courageous from running into the
Indefatigable - "
Horatio nodded, "With Mr. Lafferty's assistance."
Terry grinned broadly. "Really! I always suspected Lafferty
had some decency hidden under all that fear. Good for him!"
"And it seems Archie rescued a young boy he found down in
the hold while he was imprisoned, one who had been beaten, it
is said. From what Lafferty told me, getting the child abovedecks
nearly killed him."
Terry's expression changed, and the joviality turned more serious.
"You don't say. Well...that's something commendable indeed."
Sensing that Terry was moved more than he was letting on, Horatio
decided to change the subject. "Where is Dr. St. John?"
"Oh - he's at Hood's still, under guard. He's been withdrawn
as you might expect, and although I should be furious at him for
not speaking up further, I confess I mostly pity him. He was under
that yoke for an awfully long time."
Horatio thought a moment. "Do you think Hood would mind if
I spoke to him?"
"I don't see why not. Perhaps he'll talk to you."
Horatio took a step backward, and said, "I'll be back in
a bit, then."
Terry's grin came back. "All right, you know where I am.
Perhaps Mr. Bracegirdle would like to raise a tankard with me
and I can hear what it's like to be on a ship during a storm."
Bracegirdle grinned. "Are you so eager to know?"
"Of course. With my height and disposition, it's as close
to being in the navy as I'm ever likely to get!"
**************************************************************************************
Horatio took a long leisurely walk to the admiralty, and to his
surprise was shown not to Dr. St. John at first, but to Lord Admiral
Hood. Despite his clean appearance, Horatio was certain he would
make a slovenly and unkempt impression.
"Ah, my boy," Hood sputtered as soon as Horatio walked
into his office, "Delightful to see you, congratulations.
Well done!"
Horatio came before that ornate, imposing, paper-strewn desk,
and was at a loss for words. Suddenly feeling like a failure he
said, "Thank you sir, but I regret that Morgan could not
be brought to justice - "
"Indeed sir!" Hood snorted, "And what do you call
what happened to him? What is justice if that is not? My office
has been flooded all morning, people coming from all over to give
evidence against the man, you've no idea. I am tired of it already!
And along the wind comes and saves the crown the trouble and expense
of a court- martial, when the verdict would have been set from
the beginning. No justice? Ha!"
Horatio digested this, was uncertain how to respond. "I -
trust your lordship's judgment, but I did not do it alone - "
"So I hear!" Hood yelped happily, "That Kennedy
has proven himself a marvel, eh? First heroism at Muzillac, and
now heroism right at home. It's a good thing we didn't accidentally
stretch his neck, or England would have lost a very promising
young officer!"
Horatio did not argue was this, but was frankly astonished to
hear Hood praise Archie so lavishly. He filed it away, to tell
his friend about later.
"Indeed, my lord, and I must thank you for your intervention
on that matter. It was most kind of you."
"Most kind? Nonsense! If there's one thing the Crown is interested
in, it's justice for all who serve on His Majesty's ships. And
it is you I should thank, young man, along with your captain and
fellow officers, for ridding the navy of such a terrible and potentially
expensive threat to the crown."
"Um - you're most entirely welcome, my lord."
"Of course. Now off with you. I've got to clean up this mess!"
*******************************************************************************
At the same time, some distance down the street, Archie was being
attended to by Captain Pellew's personal physician, Dr. Harry
Wilcombe. Pellew accompanied him, and when after a suitable length
of time the door the the doctor's office opened and Archie emerged,
he stood anxiously and looked his doctor in the face.
Wilcombe waited until Archie, still absentmindedly knotting his
kerchief, wandered some distance away before saying, "Good
lord, Edward. What's that boy been through?"
"More than either of us cares to admit, I'm afraid,"
Pellew answered in a low voice. "How is he?"
"Well," Dr. Wilcombe replied, "He's got no major
injuries, mostly he's exhausted. The cuts and bruises will heal
of course, but it's the other scars I found that I'm worried about.
They're years old and he seems very sensitive about them - "
Pellew raised one hand for silence and looking toward Archie said,
"Mr. Kennedy, you may wait for me outside if you wish, out
of this stuffy physician's office air. I trust Dr. Wilcombe's
assistance has been satisfactory?"
Archie turned and regarded both men with quiet, withdrawn eyes.
"Aye sir, very much so. Thank you, doctor."
"Anytime, Mr. Kennedy," Dr. Wilcombe replied with a
reassuring smile, and Archie turned and opened the door to the
street, finding his way outside.
As soon as the door was closed again Pellew said, "My apologies,
doctor, but there are elements of Mr. Kennedy's past that I would
not have him hear us discussing."
Dr. Wilcombe's eyebrows went up. "Anything you wish to tell
me?"
"No sir, for I would not care to repeat gossip and Mr. Kennedy
has told me nothing himself. Nor will I ask him to divulge anything
of that nature that he is not willing to share unbidden."
"I understand. But you - suspect?"
Pellew pursed his lips, and nodded. "I have seen enough of
all manner of human nature to know fair and foul when I see it,
sir. And sadly Mr. Kennedy seems to have been subjected to the
foulest of them all."
"Well, if what you suspect is true," Dr. Wilcombe said,
looking toward the door, "Then he's a very remarkable young
man. Get him back to Indefatigable, he must have total rest for
at least a day."
"Yes, doctor."
Dr. Wilcombe began rolling down his sleeves. "I do feel better
knowing you'll watch out for him until *all* his bruises heal.
After that, I suspect he'll be watching out for the rest of us."
"It will be my privilege to guard him, sir," Pellew
said as he replaced his hat, "And you do not have to tell
me what I have already been so amply shown."
**************************************************************************
As soon as Archie closed the door to the doctor's office, he fought
with the instinctive urge to run and hide.
He couldn't, of course - he was in the middle of a busy street,
the early afternoon sunlight full on him, and there was really
no reason for him to be afraid. But that was the way he felt.
Afraid and naked.
There was a small alley next to the office, where he could be
out of sight and still snap to when Pellew arrived, and Archie
headed for it, grateful to be off the street and away from all
those eyes. The bustle - the noise - the people startled him,
after a week of solitude and captivity, and as soon as he could
Archie settled himself on the ground with his back against the
wall, and hid his face in his hands.
What had happened? What would happen now? Why had he not died?
Archie knew the facts, but still his heart had not accepted them;
the little comfort he derived from knowing that the witness to
Morgan's brutality had glossed over certain details was thwarted
by the fear that someday those details would be known. It would
have been easier to die with that knowledge than live with that
fear, and Archie was prepared to do the first. He had reconciled
himself to it, planned on it.
And now it was not going to happen.
Oh God, that entire morning seemed like a dream! He could barely
speak of it to Pellew, and only then when forced. He had not said
a word about it to anyone else, and had not spoken to Horatio
at all. Horatio, who had fought so hard for him and who should
have been the first person Archie confided in, he had not said
one word to since their return to the ship. And he was not sure
why.
Or maybe he was. Horatio had seen the worst of him, had seen him
panicked and failing, imprisoned and condemned to die, had battered
the very doors of Hell for him, and Archie was ashamed that his
only repayment had been to lie to Horatio and withhold the terrible
things Morgan was capable of. But then, Archie thought as he hugged
himself, Horatio did not know Simpson's evil either...
And he never would. Perhaps that was why Archie felt so frightened;
this new freedom would mean questions, curiosity, and Archie was
not used to that kind of attention. He knew that many on the ship
hailed him as a hero, and while he was grateful that he was not
being shunned Archie had no idea how to take such lavish praise.
If only he had Horatio's poise...Horatio always knew how to take
a compliment. Well, Archie amended with a tiny smile, not really...
Archie sighed and leaned his head against the wall. He would have
to go back to the Indefatigable sometime, and he could not avoid
talking to Horatio forever. He could stall it - Thomas had been
adopted into the Indy's crew, so he could always go for a visit,
and surely if he pleaded a headache or fatigue Horatio wouldn't
argue with him. But that was just delaying the inevitable...Archie
closed his eyes and began to doze.
Suddenly he was on the Indy, on a bright and sunny day. They were
at sea, not far out, and he was standing at the forecastle, the
wind in his face. He heard footsteps behind him, and turned, and
smiled to see Horatio there.
But Horatio did not smile back, instead looked uncertain, nervous.
He looked back over his shoulder, and Archie suddenly realized
they were on Justinian, not Indefatigable. He felt a cold thrill
of fear.
"I'm sorry, Archie," Horatio said quietly, "But
you understand, one has to think about one's self. After what
happened to Danny Fredericks..."
Archie started, felt his mouth go dry as he thought, that's what
Pierson said to me after Simpson killed Danny, oh God that's *just*
what he said. "Horatio - "
"It could have been *me*, Archie," Horatio hissed, coming
close so no one else could hear, "You understand that, don't
you? It could have been *me*!"
Archie just stared at him, Pierson's words again, from Horatio's
lips. No...
"I'm sorry, Archie," Horatio said, his eyes large and
sad as he backed away with a shake of his head, "I can't
be your friend anymore. I know you understand."
Then he turned around and walked away, the Justinian melting into
nothingness around him.
Archie threw himself awake with a gasp, and started when he felt
a cool hand on his forehead. He looked up and saw who it was.
"Oh! Miss Rose!"
"'ello, Archie," the prostitute said with a kind smile
as she knelt opposite to him, "Don't worry, no one will see
us talkin'."
"I'm not - I don't care - they let you out?"
"Course," Rose answered with the same smile, "They
never bother holdin' the likes of me longer than a night. I was
eaten up with worry for you, though." She put one hand on
his arm, and Archie saw tears in her eyes. "I'm so glad you're
all right."
"Thank you," Archie whispered, looking into those generous
eyes and finding himself after a moment, and put his hand on hers.
"I mean...thank you, ma'am, for helping me. For letting me
talk, I...I don't do that kind of talking much."
"You should," Rose said softly, putting one hand on
Archie's cheek, "You're not alone, love. You must remember
that, and let people help you."
"You give people too much credit," Archie replied, and
drew his knees up to lock his arms around them. "You know
how they treat you."
"Not everyone," Rose responded lightly, "That Mr.
Hornblower, for instance, 'e's a real gentleman to me. And you
- "
Archie's head snapped around quickly. "You know Horatio?"
Rose nodded. "I've met him a few times. All he cared about
was seeing you got treated decent."
Archie's gaze dropped to the street. "I can't ever repay
him. Or you."
"You think you haven't already? I heard about that child
you took up, and how you saved your ship. If I was your own mother
I couldn't be prouder."
Archie thought of his mother, and bit his lip to stop the tears.
"But Horatio doesn't know what you do, and now..."
"Now you're afraid he'll find out, and it'll change how he
thinks of you."
Archie kept his eyes to the ground, thought of the nightmare and
those haunting words *you understand, don't you?*. He nodded,
closing his eyes.
He felt Rose's hand again, stroking his hair gently, just as his
mother used to. He leaned into that feeling, heard her say quietly,
"Now you listen to me, Archie Kennedy. You have a life and
a future ahead of you that is full of greatness, I can see it
in your eyes and in your heart. And Mr. Hornblower, he sees it
too. And I got a feelin' he'll keep seein' it, through storms
and winds and the blackest night anybody can dream up. And I know
he'll be standin' right there beside you, like you'd be for him,
right till your dying day. See if he doesn't."
Archie opened his eyes again, sought that pleasant face that had
seen him through so many trials, and took her hand in his, squeezing
it warmly. "Thank you."
Rose returned his smile with one of her own. "Thank *you*,
gallant knight. That boy owes you his life."
Archie got to his feet, and as he did so said, "Oh, I have
something of yours - " He reached into his boot, and pulled
out the small pick lock she had left for him, so long ago. "I
don't need it any more."
"I think you never did," Rose said as she took the instrument
back and gazed into Archie's eyes, "You always had the key
to unlock your chains, Mr. Kennedy. Believe that."
Archie blushed, and nodded.
Rose turned to go, then looked back over her shoulder and asked,
"Mr. Kennedy?"
"Ma'am?"
"Do you have a sweetheart?"
Archie blushed again, and when he looked back down at the ground
his expression was sad and wistful. "No ma'am, not at present.
I don't..." he swallowed heavily and his voice cracked as
he said, "I don't think they'd understand."
Rose paused, then she walked back to Archie and caressed his cheek.
Then, slowly, she took his face in her hands and kissed him, slowly,
softly, until Archie felt it coursing through every nerve in his
tired, aching body. It was a miraculous feeling, sweet and hot,
an eternity and a second, all at the same time. Archie was breathless.
Then, just as slowly, Rose drew herself back, and when Archie
opened his eyes it was to stare at her in stupefied awe.
She was flushed too, and looked up at him with appreciation and
knowledge glistening in her eyes. "You find the right girl,
Archie Kennedy," she whispered, "And she'll understand
gladly, mark my words. It ain't fair to the ladies to keep all
that sweetness locked inside forever."
Archie stared at her open-mouthed. But for some reason he felt
nothing but joy.
"Now just in case someone saw us," Rose said, the same
naughty glint in her eye, "Mr. future lieutenant, use that
big voice of yours to order me away."
"Ahem," Archie said with his wickedest smile, "Away
with you, vile strumpet! Can you not see I am about the king's
work?"
Rose groaned as she passed him to go back into the alley. "I
should have guessed you've seen acting!"
"God bless you, Rose," Archie said just before she was
out of hearing.
"You too, love," she replied, and Archie thought he
heard tears in her voice. Then she was gone.
******************************************************************************************
Horatio was shown the room where Dr. St. John was being held,
and his heart sank when he saw the two marines posted at the door.
Summoning his courage, however, he walked past them, knocked on
the door, and heard a quiet voice inside say, "Come in."
He opened the door, and went inside.
The room seemed dark, although it was daylight. It was an abandoned
office Horatio guessed, there was nothing in it but an empty desk
and a few chairs. Dr. St. John was sitting in one of them, in
front of a window that overlooked the street, lost in thought.
He didn't move when Horatio entered, but said very softly, "He's
dead."
Horatio felt those words sink into the silence, and nodded although
St. John could not see it. "Yes, he is."
St. John moved then, looked at Horatio with ancient eyes. "Tell
me."
Horatio hesitated; then he drew up the other chair, sat in it
and looked at the hat he turned in his hands. "He - was trying
to escape, to France. He was letting himself over the side when
the ship heeled over, and he was thrown against it." He paused,
then whispered, "More than once."
St. John looked back out the window again, and said very softly,
"Thank God."
Horatio swallowed, did not know what to say to the man.
"What about Mr. Kennedy?"
"Mr. Kennedy is well, he's back on the Indy. Some bruises,
but...he will recover."
"And Mr. Lafferty?"
Horatio smiled. "Ah, you would be proud of Mr. Lafferty,
sir. He helped save the Indefatigable, and assisted Mr. Kennedy
in rescuing a small child from certain death. He is a true Englishman."
St. John slumped a little in his chair, his shoulders sagging
as if a great burden had been removed from them. "They all
got away. Thank God. Thank God."
Horatio wondered at the doctor's relief; it was almost palpable.
"Yes...yes, sir. We are all very happy to finally have this
over."
St. John was quiet for a long time, staring out of the window.
Then he said quietly, "Lieutenant, I want you to hate me."
Horatio's eyes opened wide. "Hate you? Why?"
"Because of what I did," St. John answered bitterly,
"Because I had so many chances to help your friend, and I
didn't take them. Because I lack the simple courage that put those
bruises on your body and his. Because I've seen evil defile innocence
for I don't know how many years, and have never spoken out."
Horatio blinked at this, heard so much self-hatred in those words
that he was momentarily taken aback. Finally he said, "I
cannot judge you for any action other than the most recent one,
and that one saved Mr. Kennedy's life. For that, I shall always
be in your debt."
St. John sighed, closed his eyes and covered his face with one
bony hand. "Damn your decency, lieutenant. Maybe you don't
know what my silence has cost this world, but I do. There are
men who are crippled in mind and body because of me, wounds that
should have been closed that were left to bleed. I was a blind
and stupid man - "
"You were in thrall to a tyrant," Horatio interjected,
the cold dim outline of St. John's form against the window painting
such a scene of loneliness that he could hardly bear it, "And
well I know what that is! I have known men - fine men, good men
whose souls cried for the unleashing, who lived as you did, and
thought themselves cowards. One of those self-proclaimed cowards
gave his life for me, and I can promise you that word will never
pass my lips in conjunction with his."
St. John turned to him, his face cast into darkness. "But
if I had kept silent, your friend would be dead."
"But you did not," Horatio insisted, his gaze hot and
burning, "You came forward, not knowing the end, not knowing
there would be no punishing master to come and render in your
life a living hell afterward. Do you think I don't know what courage
that took? Tell me, if I were to say that Morgan was alive, and
coming to claim you for the wrong you did him, would you do the
same as you did?"
For a moment St. John's face went pale in the darkness, then he
took a deep breath and said, "I couldn't have lived with
myself if I didn't. The running, it...oh, it makes your soul so
weary! You'd never understand."
"Don't say those words to me," Horatio said with a gentle
smile, "But you see, I have known you from the first, Dr.
St. John. I have seen you treat Archie with kindness, you bound
up his wounds and made the hell he was cast into more bearable.
You gave my book to him, when you knew what punishment awaited
you if Morgan found out. Even under the direst circumstances,
you crept out of the shell of your own fears to render what aid
you could. And when the good heart could stand the oppression
no longer, you were the bravest of any of us. I would have lost
a friend had it not been for you, and I will always be grateful."
St. John looked back out the window, and Horatio winced at the
despair he saw there. "Your friend is worth a hundred of
the likes of me. I accept your forgiveness, lieutenant, but the
way ahead is dark for me and I can't see any light. So you'll
forgive my downcast spirit."
Horatio did not know what else to say, and stood, silent for a
moment. Then, struck with an idea, he asked, "What will happen
to you now?"
St. John shrugged. "Your friend Mr. Whitehall said he would
help me, but I want nothing now except to pay for the crime I
committed, for killing that boy. Prison, for the rest of my life."
"And what will you do there?"
St. John looked at Horatio. "What?"
Horatio hesitated, then plunged ahead. "Doctor, those men
you spoke of, the unhealed wounds you claim responsibility for...do
you remember them?"
St. John's shoulders slumped. "Every one."
"And if a way was discovered to find them, to tell them what
you know and that it is not hopeless, would you do that for them?
Would you help them, now that you have the freedom to do so?"
St. John's eyes widened. "Can that be done?"
Horatio nodded, smiling at the dawning hope he saw in the other
man's eyes. "Give me their names, and I will do what I can.
Even a letter from you, an acknowledgement that they are not alone
and may yet be made whole, will help. I am sure of it."
St. John sat upright, some life coming back into him, "I'll
have little else to do in prison, I suppose..."
Horatio shook his head. "Sadly, I think not, doctor. How
many poor wretches confined within those walls will have need
of an excellent physician, and have so far been denied? You know
medicines, cures, helps for sickness. Now that you are free of
Morgan you may exercise your talents to their fullest, and never
fear the consequences of helping another human being. Prison need
not be the end for you, doctor, but a new beginning full of opportunity.
I am sure of it."
St. John's expression changed, a little, to one of incredulous
hope. Then it dimmed again and he turned back toward the window.
"You have more faith than I do, lieutenant. I doubt they
would even let me near to help."
"It is not faith, sir," Horatio said firmly, "It
is a statement of fact. That your touch cures can be proven, and
if there are those who doubt it let them challenge Captain Pellew,
and Acting Lieutenant Kennedy, and myself. For that matter, Terry
Whitehall will also attest to your abilities. Do not doubt that
he will see you placed where you can do the most good, doctor,
and once there I can promise you there will be no question of
your skill, no matter what your past. Only let the arguments be
written and I promise you, you will be given a second chance wherever
you are. And I know you will make the most of it."
The doubt in St. John's eyes began to melt away, and what was
behind there was satisfying to behold. It was as if a ray of sunlight
had entered the room, and he almost looked happy.
"You see, doctor," Horatio said with an answering smile,
"There is a reason men like Captain Morgan ultimately fail,
and men such as you are left behind on this earth. And it takes
no faith, or flowery discussion, to tell you what I believe: you
are here because you are needed. That you must pay for your crimes
is inevitable; that your talents be allowed to rot while you do
it, would be a far greater tragedy."
Dr. St. John did not move for a few moments. When he did, he raised
grateful eyes to Horatio and simply said, "Thank you, lieutenant."
Horatio smiled at him and replied, "I have my orders and
we will be setting sail soon, but I would be remiss not to convey
my gratitude, and that of Mr. Kennedy, for everything you have
done. You are a good man, doctor, but you've had to hide it; and
now the chains have been taken from your wrists. What you have
done for my friend, you may now do for everyone who needs you."
*********************************************************************************
"Ugh!"
Styles winced with distaste as he wrung the water out of the huge
length of sail that he and Matthews and Oldroyd were handling.
The severe rains and recent damp weather had rendered all of the
stored sails moldy and foul-smelling, and now that the sun had
broken the orders were given that they all be aired out.
And Styles was hating it, "Oof, I'd almost rather the rain
came back!"
"Oh, quit gripin'," Matthews said as they hoisted the
small sail above their heads to unfold it, "Beats shiverin'
in the damp."
Together the men pulled the sail open, letting the sun's warmth
into the folds where it bounced off and made a brilliant patch
where it touched.
As they worked with the sail, Styles looked at Oldroyd and said,
"So are y' back then?"
"Who, me?" Oldroyd blinked, and gave a cockeyed grin,
"Did I go someplace?"
"You could say that," Styles rejoined, giving the sail
a hefty flap.
"We', I'm glad ev'ryting's back to normal, if 'at's what
you mean," Oldroyd said, helping his mates lay the sail on
the deck where they could inspect it for mold and rot. "I
mean - 'at was a close shave, wunnit?"
"Too close," Matthews said darkly, getting onto all
fours and running his hand over the bleached canvas. "Never
thought we'd end up tangling with the ghost of Jack Simpson."
"Don't say that name, mate," Styles said in grim agreement,
removing his knife to cut some coiled rope that lay nearby, "Brings
'im back. And 'e has friends."
Matthews grunted, his eyes on the canvas. Nothing more needed
to be said.
Suddenly there was a heavy weight on Matthews' back, and without
looking he said, "Now who the hell is *that*?"
"Thomas, sir," came the reply, from just above Matthews'
head.
"Ah, well! Off my back with you, Thomas, and we can have
a proper conversation."
The weight lifted, and Matthews sat up, taking care not to look
at Styles' barely-concealed grin. He looked at Thomas, who was
dressed in better clothes and chewing on a biscuit, and said,
"Well, now, young sir, I see they got you outfitted proper.
And fed too?"
Thomas nodded happily, "I'm to report to you as soon as I'm
done eating. And - I'm almost done."
"Are you!" Matthews exclaimed, "Well, then, let's
put you to work. Now - what's your age, son?"
"Um - ten. Eleven next month."
"Oh, my goodness! You been at sea longer than me almost!
Well, master Thomas," Matthews pointed at the sail, "I
need you to find one of the sailmaker's mates, tell 'im we got
a sail that needs mending, and we're on th' quarterdeck. Think
you can do it?"
Thomas had just finished cramming the last of the biscuit into
his mouth, and smiled widely. "Yeff fir!"
"Oo, and mind your manners, lad!" Matthews said, and
reached out to tap the boy lightly on the head.
Thomas flinched, ducking away from Matthews' touch as if instinctively,
and Matthews withdrew his hand with an apologetic look.
"Sorry," Thomas muttered, obviously embarrassed.
Matthews stammered, "No harm, son. About your work now."
Thomas nodded, not noticing the looks Matthews and Styles exchanged.
The day might have continued a little dimmer but for the sudden
appearance of another child, a towheaded youngster who ran straight
to Oldroyd and threw his arms around his neck.
"Well, hello there, young fella!" Oldroyd said brightly,
but Styles shook his head.
"They're comin' out of the woodwork," he muttered.
Thomas turned his head, and as soon as he saw the other boy gasped
happily and said, "Jenkins!"
The other boy, who was obviously Jenkins, raised his head and
gave a sideways smile, "Toms!"
Matthews leaned back on his knees and raised his eyebrows. "You
from the Courageous too, son?"
"Uh-huh," Jenkins said as Thomas came close and slung
an easy arm over him, "We look...look out for each other."
"But how do you know Oldroyd?" Styles asked, barely
able to contain his humor.
"Oy, Jenkins and me, we're pals!" Oldroyd replied, trading
sunny smiles with the boy, " 'e came up to me on deck right
after we came on board, ain't that right, mate?"
"Oy!" Jenkins responded joyfully, and put his arms around
Oldroyd's neck again.
"Well, they're cut from the same cloth, *that's* for sure,"
Styles muttered, but only Matthews caught it.
"You got work, Jenkins?" Thomas asked his friend.
Jenkins nodded, "Fetch the holystones. We're going to s...swab
the deck."
"I have to go find one of the sailmaker's mates. Come on,
I'll look out for you."
Jenkins nodded again, and they both ran away, two bobbing minnows
in the sea of work on deck.
Matthews watched them go and shook his head with a smile. "Well,
old Jack may have friends, and that's a fact. But good news is,
'e ain't the only one."
"That's damn philosophical, mate," Styles said as the
three men resumed tending to the sail, and this time his smile
was not in the least sarcastic.
******************************************************************************
By the time Horatio made it back to the Dove, it was time to head
back to the Indefatigable, and his duties. The ship was damaged
and needed assessment to see if she was seaworthy for the morrow's
sail ; there were inspections to be made, supplies to procure,
and his men to look after, and Horatio found himself in the rare
sort of mood where he did not want to do any of it. But it needed
to be done.
Of course, Terry had to be promised one tankard of ale and stories
before Horatio's departure, and that was gladly given. Then it
was back onto the cobblestoned streets towards the docks, and
Horatio still could not fathom why people looked at him so strangely,
or smiled at him as if he had done something spectacular. The
attention made him uncomfortable; he could not wait to get back
home.
But what a pleasure it was to walk on sunny streets! To see the
sky blue and golden above him, and know that everyone he cared
for was out of danger. Horatio realized that the brooding he had
been doing since Muzillac was not burdening him any longer, and
wondered where his melancholy had gone. He thought of it as they
made their way homeward, conjured up the images that had filled
him with so much shame and guilt, but he saw Mariette's face in
his memory and it was at peace. It was the same with the dead
men, the martyred French citizens, all of the roiling, painful
insanity of that hopeless mission. Horatio realized he could recall
it, and not feel totally mortified. Why?
They neared the docks, and Horatio gazed up at the masts of the
Indy, glinting in the sunshine. He smiled involuntarily at that
sight, the great ship beaten but unbowed, splintered here and
there but with her fine fighting soul intact. She had been through
the worst and survived, no, thrived on it. See what the world
can give me, the ship seemed to say in every gleaming timber and
spar, it can batter and assault me but I will not be swallowed
by the tumult or corrupted by craven design. I will oppose it,
and thus grow ever stronger, until at last I will be unassailable.
And live forever.
Horatio stood for a moment on the docks and watched the Indefatigable
with tears in his eyes. She was home, she was his life, and they
had both seen the storm together, as Archie had. They had all
been in the thick of it, felt every nerve and fiber tested, and
still they did not yield. And by not yielding, had grown stronger.
And unassailable.
"Mr. Hornblower?" Bracegirdle said quietly as he came
up beside the young man. "Are you quite all right?"
"Yes, Mr. Bracegirdle," Horatio replied with a covert
sniff, "I was just, um...dazzled by the sun."
"Oh, hm. Well, we don't see it too often I don't suppose!
Well, back aboard we go then."
"Indeed sir. I was hoping to talk to Mr. Kennedy before I
began my duties - "
"Ah! Well, you'll be disappointed I'm afraid. The captain
told me this morning that Mr. Kennedy is to rest, and I'm certain
he's deep in the arms of Somnus by now."
"Oh. Well, then, would it be possible to talk to the captain?
I fear the report I gave him this morning was rather shoddy."
"I'm certain you'll be summoned to his presence soon enough,
my boy, but it won't be this afternoon. After seeing to Mr. Kennedy
he informed me he was going to pay his respects to Captain Morgan's
wife. It seems the proper thing to do, after all."
"Of course."
*******************************************************************************
The ride out to the Morgan estate did not take nearly as long
as it seemed to the night before, and Pellew reached the great
house of pale brick and ivy long before he was ready. He did not
have any idea what he was going to say to Elise. And he had been
so exhausted that he had slept most of the way.
She had to know, of course, that her husband was dead. The courier
had been dispatched as soon as Morgan's demise was confirmed,
and Pellew's duties had kept him in Plymouth for most of the morning
and part of the afternoon; so it was near four o'clock when his
carriage clattered into the great courtyard of the house, and
as he felt the vehicle rumble to a stop Pellew silently prayed
that the right words would find him. It would not be an easy conversation.
The house looked so different in the daylight, and in the sunlight
in particular. Everything gleamed warm and fresh and new; it did
not seem at all the same house dark with suspicion and fear that
he had visited last night. But then, perhaps it was not the same
house after all.
The great double front door opened, and one of the servants appeared
at the door. The servant nodded at Pellew and motioned for him
to enter, as if he had been expected. Adjusting his cape and uniform,
Pellew followed the man into the house.
And how the house sparkled! None of the shadows of the night before,
the closed draperies and cowering beauty. Every shutter was thrown
open, every curtain drawn aside, and the house was flooded with
light. Pellew marveled at it; it was not a house of mourning at
all.
He was shown into a small parlor, and told to wait. Pellew accepted
this, took a small glass of sherry from the proffered tray and
sipped it, looking around at the pale green walls that caught
the light and spread it throughout the room, the fine-cut crystal
that splintered it into a thousand tiny rainbows. There were vases
for flowers, all empty, and a painted table with a pair of gardener's
scissors setting on it, long unused. And Elise had always loved
flowers...
There were light footsteps outside, and just as every thought
Edward was having flew out of his brain entirely the door opened,
and Elise walked into the room. She was dressed simply, in a gray
dress with no lace or other finery on it. Her hair was hastily
pinned back, and Pellew could see she was wearing no jewelry or
adornment. She looked tired and dazed.
"Captain Pellew," She said somberly, motioning to one
of the small sofas, "How - how kind of you to visit me. Please
sit down."
"My apologies for my rudeness, madam," Pellew responded
as they sat, "Both for leaving you so hastily last night,
and arriving unannounced this afternoon. But I felt you should
know as completely as possible the manner and circumstances of
your husband's death."
Elise's eyes came up to him, slowly. "He is dead."
"Yes, ma'am."
She leaned forward. "There is no mistake? No possibility
that you are wrong?"
Pellew swallowed. "No, ma'am, none. My lieutenant Hornblower
witnessed his demise, there can be no doubt. Your husband, Captain
Morgan, is dead."
Elise seemed suspended in time for a moment, her shoulders forward
and her face frozen in an expression of stunned realization. Then
she closed her eyes, brought her hands up to her face, and wept.
Pellew brought his eyes down, wishing to respect her privacy,
but then he thought of the previous evening and cursed his thickheadedness.
Those were not tears of grief or sorrow, they could not possibly
be. They could only be tears of release and joy.
After a few moments Elise seemed to remember herself, sat up and
drew one graceful hand across her glistening cheeks. She took
a deep breath, gazing out of the nearby open window to the gardens
beyond, and said, "I'm sorry Edward, I just - I did not believe
it when they came and told me, I suppose I knew it was true but
to hear it from your lips...and your officer was freed as well?"
"Yes, ma'am. A witness came forward in his defense."
Pellew saw no need to elaborate any further.
Elise's drowsy smile conveyed her relief and happiness. "Do
you know, I was sleeping when you came. I did not mean to, there
are so many things to attend to, but oh, how wonderful it felt!
To sleep without fearing the sudden movement beside you, without
having to be just awake enough to hear the hand on the door. I
have not slept that well in years."
Pellew looked down at the bright sunlit pattern on the floor.
"I am...glad, madam."
Elise cast her eyes down also. "I apologize, I know such
talk is inappropriate. Decorum and fashion dictate that I be sad
and downcast, but I am no such actress. I am happy, Edward, happy!
It's so...I had forgotten what it felt like."
Pellew raised sorrowful eyes to her. "I am sorry it was so
terrible for you."
Elise closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath, raising
one hand to her face as if to shelter it from painful memories.
"No more. Those days no longer exist for me, Edward, please.
I - I want to talk only of the future from now on. The future."
She opened her eyes and cast her gaze out the window again, shaking
her head in tired wonder. "It sounds strange even to say
it."
Pellew nodded and said quietly, "All right then, madam, as
you wish. What will you do now?"
Elise leaned back, her dress rustling as she stared out the window
again. "I don't know. Sleep. I would like to sleep. But not
while you're here."
Pellew returned the fragile smile she gave him. "And after
that?"
Elise sighed, and pursed her lips together in thought before replying,
"I...I think I should like to sell this house and every stick
of furniture in it. The Admiralty may take whatever it wants.
I will take only my clothes and my embroidery, and the weeds may
have the rest."
"And where will you go?"
"My sister's," Elise said, leaning her head against
the back of the sofa with a dreamy smile, "...he...did not
let me write to her, but as soon as she knew she sent a letter
begging me to stay at her home. She doesn't even live that far
from here." Her gaze softened, and her voice quivered a little
as she whispered, "It will be very good to see her again.
And then...and then I don't know."
Pellew looked at her face, saw how drawn and confused it looked,
the sleepwalker just awakened, the captive newly set free, with
a wonderful new world that is frightening in its scope and opportunity.
He had seen that expression before, on Kennedy. But until that
moment he did not realize how very much they were alike.
"It's very strange, Edward," Elise said, her voice almost
a whisper, "Even now, it doesn't seem real. I half-expect
him to come pounding in through the door at any moment, wanting
his dinner or..." She sat up, studied her hands with a tight
expression. "I feel free, but I feel lost, and I confess
I do not know what to do. Can you help me?"
Pellew smiled. "Gladly, madam. I think the first thing you
should do, is precisely what you want to do. I think you need
to take some rest."
Elise looked out the window again, and nodded.
"And then," Pellew put his hand on hers, gently, and
looked into her violet eyes, "I think you should take a slow,
careful stock of the world, and find your place in it. You have
been far away from the world, and it has missed you. I am certain
it will welcome you back."
"But what if I have no place in it?" Elise rose from
the couch, her dress dappling into watercolors as she moved through
the room to stand at the window. "I am the widow of a traitor,
the former wife of an enemy to the crown. I have nothing to offer
but a dowry that not even the most destitute gentleman would want.
I am afraid of that, Edward. I am afraid of looking inside myself
and seeing that after all I am - nothing."
Pellew stood quickly and came beside her, and heedless of the
impropriety took her hands in his. "Such nonsense! Listen
to me, madam, if you are ever afeared that you hold no value,
if you ever doubt that yours is a life that is only now beginning
to bloom into its own beauty, then remember that there sails on
His Majesty's seas a heart that has always believed - *will* always
believe - that once your song is found it will be the sweetest
and most beautiful melody in all the world."
Elise blushed, and did not meet Pellew's eyes. He saw tears slipping
down her cheeks as she looked out into the gardens, and for a
long time she did not speak. When she did it was in a wavering
voice edged with tears. "You always did have the poetic heart."
"I speak the truth, madam," Pellew said softly, taking
her hands tighter, "Do you remember the bird you used to
speak of, the one you set free because you could no longer bear
to see it caged?"
Elise nodded, and turned her face to Pellew. "I - I always
wondered what became of it. I am certain by now it is dead."
"Oh, not by my reckoning, my lady," Pellew answered,
"For I am certain that now, if you listen, you can hear its
song through the notes its children sing, and the ones that come
after. It sings because it is free, Elise, and praises you for
making it so. I know you will hear it one day, and give the song
back for all to hear. Promise me that you will."
Elise looked in his eyes for a moment, then tenderly laid a hand
upon his cheek. "I promise. I promise because I know I must
lose you, and I will keep you bound to me any way I can. And I
promise because I have heard the song you have given me. And it
is beautiful."
*******************************************************************************
Horatio was exhausted.
The excitement of the morning and activity of the early afternoon
turned into an all-consuming lethargy around three that afternoon,
and fearing that he would fall unconscious on his feet, and mindful
that Archie was sleeping in their cabin, Horatio found himself
asking to borrow Mr. Bracegirdle's cabin for some much-needed
slumber. Bracegirdle was happy to oblige, but even with that respite
Horatio still found himself utterly worn out by the time the ship's
bell tolled the time - ten o'clock - and Horatio decided it was
time to go to bed.
It feels like it's been years, Horatio thought as he trudged toward
his cabin, and wondered at everything that had happened since
the last time he had closed his eyes in the night. It seemed like
another life, another Horatio who had done those things, offered
himself to Morgan, lay in a filthy cell and listened to a litany
of brutality, watched a captain die. No, that was not himself,
certainly. It must have happened to someone else...
At last, his door, his cabin. Horatio quietly pushed the door
open and went inside, and in his sleepy half-awake state thought,
oh! I left the lantern burning!
Then his eye fell on Archie, asleep in his bunk, and Horatio felt
a jolt of realization. Archie was home.
For a few moments Horatio stood in the dim light provided by the
one hanging lantern, and looked at his friend lying on the bunk
which had been vacant for too many nights. Archie was curled on
one side, his blankets drawn up to his chin, his newly-washed
hair loose and half-covering his eyes, which were shut tight in
healing slumber. His face, which bore the rosy color of a long
and unbroken sleep, was slack and totally at peace.
At peace - but the restfulness in Archie's face was in stark contrast
to the bruises which still marred his pale skin, and the cuts
that stood out on his cheeks and forehead. One hand was outside
the blanket, and Horatio could see that it had been bandaged from
where he had burned it hauling himself aboard the jollyboat. And
more - Horatio knew that under that blanket there were other bruises,
other hurts, and beneath that a torn and aching heart that had
always hidden itself, and would likely continue to do so despite
all attempts to reach it.
Horatio sighed and crossed his arms. It was quiet in the cabin,
and strangely it reminded him of the Spanish prison, after he
had convinced Archie to live rather than give in to the despair
that had engulfed him. There was a time - Horatio would never
admit it, but there was a time when he was at a loss how to deal
with Archie's despair, and once he began to recover there was
some awkwardness while Archie struggled to regain not just his
health, but his dignity as well. Horatio had seen him at his most
wretched, and the bitterness at having to be rescued was difficult
for Archie to shake off. He had recovered, of course, but slipped
again during the Muzillac campaign and now...
Horatio sat down on his bunk and stared at Archie's bruised and
sleeping face in thought. Now he did not know what to do. In the
frenzy and panic of Archie's arrest and trial, he was so focused
on getting Archie free that he never thought of how to deal with
all that had happened - all that he now knew - once that happy
event had occurred. But he had seen it, in Archie's eyes, so many
times in the past week but most clearly just before the Courageous
went down: Archie did not want to be known.
And now he was. Every painful, humiliating, degrading detail of
Archie's suffering was known to Captain Pellew, and Lord Hood,
and to a select few others. It had won him his freedom, but...Horatio
shook his head, remembering Justinian and the Spanish prison.
Archie had hidden his hurts then, put on a cheerful face or quietly
tried to starve himself rather than face his own humanity and
bare the scars. And now that he was free from Morgan's brutality,
it was unlikely that his behavior would be any different. Tomorrow
he would be better, sometime soon he would be fit to resume his
duties, but which Archie would be left when the one who was recovering
was gone? Now that the tortured past that he had taken such pains
to hide had been spread out for all of Plymouth to view, would
he remain the smiling, buoyant friend who had stood on the topmast
with Horatio to look with eager eyes at a dawning world? Or would
he retreat, as he had in the past, from a world that would judge
him by others' sins, and stay wounded forever?
Dammit, Archie, Horatio thought as he shook his head, if only
you knew! If only I could think of a way to tell you I have seen
the hell you have been in, and I respect you for having survived
it. You must have feared that I would look at you differently
if I knew how you'd suffered at Simpson's hands, and you were
right. You are braver, stronger, more resilient than I ever knew;
that your heart did not grow black and cold from such horrors
is a wonder, and speaks more eloquently of your decency than a
hundred of those sonnets you love so much.
But how will you ever know? You will keep it from me, as you kept
Simpson's abuse when we first met, and your anguish in prison.
You will insist that I am above it, and would turn from you if
I knew. But I know, Archie, and it makes no difference except
to place you higher than you ever were before. And to know you
would have taken such punishment so I would not...
Christ, Archie. That is so much more than I deserve.
Damn it, Archie, I wish you were awake so we could talk. I am
always better when the problem is right in front of me, and no
more of this confounded speculation. But when you wake you will
think I know, or you will wonder what I have heard, and withdraw
into yourself. And I cannot think of how to draw you out, without
you hating me for what I had to learn to attempt to free you.
Perhaps I will never be able to tell you. But if you ever find
out that I know, I hope you will forgive me...
With a sigh, Horatio decided he would not find the answer to his
dilemma standing half-asleep in his cabin. He gave up thinking
with a shake of his tired head, then turned the lantern down and
fell into bed and was asleep within minutes.
He might have passed the entire night undisturbed, but shortly
after four o'clock in the morning he heard a strange noise in
the cabin, and opened his eyes in the dark.
His first thought was that Archie was having a fit, or a nightmare;
but it was not that kind of noise. It was a rustling noise, combined
with soft thumping, as if someone was crawling on the deck. Alarmed,
Horatio quickly sat up and turned the lantern up enough so he
could see -
- and found himself staring at a brown-haired child lying wrapped
in a blanket on the floor next to Archie's bunk.
For a moment he was shocked; then, afraid the child would wake
Archie up he whispered, "What are you doing there?"
The child sat up, clutching his blanket to his chin, and looked
at Horatio with what he thought was an inordinate amount of fear.
He began to rise, but Horatio rose first and as quietly as he
could took the boy's arm and steered him into the passageway,
being careful because he noticed the child had a limp.
As soon as the door to his cabin was closed Horatio knelt down
next to the boy and said, "What were you doing in this cabin?
You should be with the other boys."
The child looked at him with terrified eyes, and although Horatio's
grip on his arm was very light, tried to squirm out of it as if
it was hurting him. "I'm sorry!" He whimpered.
Horatio realized the child's distress and quickly released his
arm, but put his hand on the boy's shoulder to keep him still.
"It's all right, I'm not going to hurt you. But you're not
in the right place."
The boy turned his long-lashed gaze to the floor, and kept it
there.
Horatio took notice of the long cut running down the boy's cheek,
and put that together with the limp. "You're the boy Archie
rescued from the Courageous."
Still looking down, the boy nodded.
Horatio smiled then, a little. "What's your name?"
"Thomas."
"Well, Thomas. Surely you were given your own hammock on
the orlop deck. What are you doing here?"
Thomas paused, then traced a pattern on the deck with one bare
foot as he muttered, "I didn't like the hammock."
"Aren't you used to sleeping in one?"
A shake of brown hair.
"Where did you sleep on Courageous?"
Thomas shrugged. "Wherever I found room. The captain said
we weren't to be wasted canvas on."
Horatio felt his stomach knot, but let it pass. "So you came
here?"
Thomas nodded.
Keeping his hand on Thomas' shoulder Horatio said, "Well...I'm
certain Mr. Kennedy would appreciate that, but I'm afraid it isn't
very safe sleeping on the floor anywhere on board a ship. If we
were at sea, and an enemy was sighted, you might be trampled,
and that would make us all very sad indeed. Do you understand?"
Thomas pursed his lips, and brought his eyebrows together thoughtfully.
"I suppose so."
Horatio smiled. "Good. Now I slept in a hammock for a long
time, and I got used to it. I'll wager you can too, with practice."
Thomas brought his head up, and looked toward the door. "Did
he sleep in one too?"
"Oh yes, it's required of all of the king's sailors. Makes
men out of us."
Thomas' eyes snapped back to Horatio, and they were very serious.
"What's your name?"
Horatio smiled at that. And Archie said he was always the famous
hero! "Hornblower. Mr. Horatio Hornblower. I am Mr. Kennedy's
cabin-mate. And his friend."
Thomas seemed to accept this, and put his tongue out thoughtfully.
A thought occurred to Horatio, and he asked, "Thomas, why
did you come here to sleep?"
The boy's eyes lit up a little. "I was scared and wanted
to be safe. I knew I would be if I was around him."
Horatio's eyes widened at that. What would Archie think if he
knew he was a haven from someone else's bad dreams? "And
why did you think that?"
"Oh, I can tell he's hurt like I have. He knows, he heard
me crying and he knew. That's why we're friends. We hurt alike.
Is that why you're friends too?"
It was a simple statement, but the impact of those words were
such that Horatio stared at the child in amazement. For a moment,
the Courageous was sinking again, and Horatio imagined Archie
carrying this young boy topside, trying desperately to reach the
open air before they both were drowned. The relentless thrashing
of the ship, the darkness and the horrible noise, and to a child
- to this poor, neglected, wounded child - one steady rock of
salvation, one tether of hope and the only way out of the darkness,
and that was Archie.
And then -
**Nooooooooo!**
**Come on, Horatio, she's gone. Come on **
Another hopeless situation, heat and dust and gunfire, Horatio
had been useless and out of his mind, sobbing with grief. It was
the worst moment of his life...and one steadying hand, one tether
of hope drew him from the darkness of death and destruction on
the Muzillac bridge.
Archie.
Without knowing how he found words, Horatio looked into Thomas'
eyes and said, "Yes - yes, Thomas. I believe it is."
And Thomas smiled at him, the sleepy, happy smile of kinship.
A kinship Horatio had never realized he shared with Archie too,
until just that moment. They hurt alike. Horatio could not suppress
a shudder.
Nor the child a yawn, it seemed. Remembering it was very late,
Horatio said, "Well, let's get you back to where you belong,
eh son? I'll find someone to show you back to your berth and don't
worry, you'll get used to it. And I'm certain you'll find it much
more comfortable than sleeping on the hard deck."
Thomas' eyes came back toward the door. "Will he be awake
tomorrow?"
"Yes, he will, and I'll tell him you asked after him. And
you know, it will do him if I can tell him you got a good night's
sleep. So will you do it?"
Thomas looked up at him, and gave him a very proper salute. "Aye,
aye, sir."
Horatio found a marine nearby to take the child back to his quarters,
and when he retired once again to his cabin paused before turning
down the lantern, and looked once more at his sleeping friend.
Archie had turned onto his back, one arm flung up next to his
head, and his face was turned so that the large bruise that still
marked his face was visible, and the bandage on his wounded hand.
Horatio looked at those wounds, so much more obvious than his
own, and considered a way to draw Archie out, when the time came
that they could have a conversation. He needed only a place where
they could talk freely, and the courage to say the words. And
then - perhaps - the Archie who resumed his duties, and walked
the decks a free man when next the Indy set sail, would be the
right one.
With that hope, Horatio turned down the lantern and climbed back
into his bunk.
*********************************************************************************
The following morning found Horatio stiff and sore in every muscle
and joint in his body. The pain actually woke him up, and once
awake Horatio knew that if he did not move quickly, the stiffness
would linger and he would be days getting rid of it. That, and
he wanted to report to Captain Pellew. So making a mighty, groaning
effort, Horatio turned himself over in the bunk to turn up the
light -
- and looked right into Archie's eyes.
"Oh!" Horatio exclaimed, unable to stop himself. He
had not expected Archie to be awake, indeed in his half-stupor
had forgotten that his friend was even there. But Archie was there,
and awake, his head turned on the pillow and his blue eyes watching
Horatio with all the calmness of a spent thunderstorm. He still
looked very tired.
After a moment's hesitation, Horatio cleared his throat and, turning
up the lantern as if it were an ordinary day said, "Good
morning, Mr.Kennedy. How are you?"
Archie took a deep breath and turned his face to the ceiling.
Very slowly he said, "I ache in every cell of my body."
"You've joined the club, then," Horatio replied, wincing
as he moved his shoulders to loosen them, "Will you be about?"
"I'm on leave for the next two days," Archie said in
the same quiet, detached tone, his eyes gazing carelessly at the
timbers as he shrugged. "I don't know."
Horatio paused again, heard the desire for solitude in Archie's
voice, the same listlessness that had plagued him in the Spanish
prison, and in the gaol. He thought of the previous night, and
decided there would be a time to draw Archie out, but this was
not it. Retreating, he said softly, "I can see if the cook
has anything decent for breakfast. Would you like some?"
Archie made a face, and ran one hand through his hair. "No.
I'm going back to sleep."
Horatio tried to find his shoes. "All right then."
"Horatio?"
Horatio looked up and saw that Archie had stopped moving his hand
through his hair, and was staring at his bandaged palm as if it
belonged to someone else's body. "Yes, Archie?"
Archie took a deep breath, then another, and when he spoke his
voice sounded distant and strange. "It all happened, didn't
it? I thought - when I first woke up I thought..." he turned
his head quickly, the bruise still large and ugly on his fair
face. "What day is it?"
"Thursday."
Archie's expression grew irritated. "No, the date."
"The fourteenth."
"God!" Archie let out the word in an astonished breath,
turning once more to the ceiling. "I don't remember yesterday."
"You slept through most of it."
"No, I mean..." Horatio watched Archie's eyebrows come
together, as if he were thinking about something very hard. "Thomas.
Is there a young boy named Thomas on board?"
Horatio tried not to smile too much, "Yes, there is, and
he's been asking after you. The captain's brought him on as a
cabin boy."
"Oh. Oh, good." Archie closed his eyes, and placed his
hand over them. After a moment he gave out another deep and tired
sigh.
Taking that as a sign that the conversation was over, Horatio
stood up to get his jacket and finish his morning ablutions. These
he accomplished quickly, and finally turning to go he saw that
Archie had not moved, and began to turn the lantern's bright flame
back down so his friend could sleep.
"No, leave it up."
Horatio started a bit, and looked at Archie. The hand had not
moved from that lined and exhausted face, but beneath the scratched
fingers Horatio could see Archie looking at the flame with something
like trepidation, as if he feared that if it went out he, too,
would be extinguished. "Leave it burning. Please."
Horatio could not argue. He left the lantern alone, and quietly
left the cabin.
********************************************************************************
As he suspected, as soon as Horatio's presence was noted he was
told to see the captain, who had returned from his trip and was
anxious to fill his senior officers in on everything that had
taken place. The others had been briefed in a meeting that Horatio's
condition excused him from; he was therefore required to attend
the captain alone.
Horatio's mind churned as he knocked on Pellew's door. So much
had happened and had not been
discussed beyond a ten-minute report, made the day before. What
his world would be like at the end of this conversation, he did
not have the imagination to guess!
Captain Pellew's voice came from within, all the command and authority
of the man himself captured in one syllable: "Come."
Horatio opened the door, and found the captain seated at his desk,
the morning sunlight bright on the windows behind him. At Horatio's
appearance he leaned back and said, "Ah, Mr. Hornblower,
excellent. Do come in and have a seat, sir."
"Aye, sir," Horatio said, and did so.
For the next few moments nothing happened. Horatio looked at Pellew,
who was looking back at him, studying him for no reason Horatio
could guess. It was a peculiar look for Pellew, a mixture of scrutiny
and sympathy that Horatio had seen before, but not in such intensity.
He felt a sudden inexplicable urge to check his uniform; perhaps
there was something on it...
Then Pellew asked, very softly, "How are you, Mr. Hornblower?"
It was not the question Horatio was expecting; nevertheless, he
answered automatically, "Well, sir."
Pellew nodded, although Horatio was not certain he believed it.
He looked down at his papers and cleared his throat. "Perhaps
we should begin at the beginning, sir, please pay attention as
I do not wish to repeat myself." He paused.
Horatio realized he was waiting for a reply. "Aye, sir."
Pellew accepted this, then continued. "The first matter concerns
yesterday's actions. The court-martial case against Captain Julius
Morgan, brought against him by the Admiral Lord Hood, has been
written off as untryable due to the captain's apparent suicide."
Horatio's eyes widened. "Suicide?"
"Kindly do not interrupt me, Mr. Hornblower. It is the decision
of the Admiralty that Captain Morgan, faced with his undeniable
guilt, sought and achieved his own cowardly death and in doing
so contributed to the loss of His Majesty's Ship, the Courageous.
There being no body to confirm his death, it will be accepted
by the sworn statements and signatures of those who witnessed
it." He looked pointedly at Horatio.
Horatio's jaw dropped. "Sir, am I being asked to sign a document
that claims that Captain Morgan committed suicide?"
"Not precisely," Pellew said, "Only that you made
every effort to apprehend him, and that in the end the decision
to end his life was his. It's the way the Crown wants it, I'm
afraid."
"But - but I cannot sign such a document," Horatio protested,
"His death was an accident."
"I am aware of that," Pellew sighed, looking at the
documents before him wearily, "Although I confess I cannot
look at the manner of his life, then his death, and see anything
but the hand of something mightier than mere chance. Still, Hood
wants Morgan disgraced, and if he cannot do it in life he is most
certainly determined to do it in death. As a suicide, Morgan will
get no memorial, no remembrance, no testimony that he ever existed,
except as a black mark in a bookkeeper's ledger. As one who appreciates
irony, Mr. Hornblower, I do confess that this decision, deceitful
though it may be, is highly satisfactory."
Horatio stared at the desk, and thought. Two days ago Captain
Julius Morgan was one of the most powerful men in England, someone
you dared not cross, who took what he wanted and thought he would
live forever. Now he was not even a memory. It seemed incredible.
"The second matter concerns Mr. Kennedy," Pellew continued,
as if eager to drop the subject, "As I'm certain you are
aware, all charges against him have been dropped, and in fact
he has been given a commendation by Lord Hood for his exemplary
actions in saving the Indefatigable from being crushed by the
Courageous. How is Mr. Kennedy, by the way?"
"Oh - well sir, but still very tired. I suspect he'll be
another day recovering."
"As should be expected." Pellew's eyes went to the documents
beneath his hand, and his expression changed to one of melancholy.
"Now Mr. Hornblower, as one well acquainted with Mr. Kennedy
and the circumstances of his release, I must assume you are aware
of what these documents contain."
Horatio knew full well what his captain spoke of. "Yes, sir."
"When Mr. Kennedy is himself again, I shall discuss it with
him as well, but for your own peace of mind I will tell you that
the only men who know of this document are myself, Lord Admiral
Hood, Mr. Whitehall, and of course Dr. St. John. For the public
record there is...an amended document, one that protects Mr. Kennedy's
privacy without compromising his innocence in the matter with
which he was charged. For all intents and purposes, it is *that*
document, not this one, which is to be regarded as truth. Is that
understood?"
Horatio looked at the documents under Pellew's hand, thought with
a sad heart of the terror and dark days contained in that small
space, regulated to rows of neatly scripted letters. "Yes,
sir."
Pellew's hand tightened over the document, and his voice grew
tight. "In addition, Mr. Hornblower, I am issuing an order
to you now that if you see anything...if you ever, while you are
aboard my ship, sense anything that even *hints* at the sort of
behavior that is described here, you will report it to me at once,
or failing that drag the foul beast who would commit such an abominable
desecration and very firmly lash him to the nearest rigging until
I am available to render judgment upon him. Is THAT understood?"
"Perfectly sir."
"Good." Pellew's eyes snapped as he pushed the document
aside, "Now to other matters. The carpenter has sounded the
ship, and all officers have reported to me that she is able and
ready to sail. We have received our orders, and since the weather
has apparently cleared will be leaving for Gibraltar on the evening
tide."
It was not unexpected; still, Horatio's heart jumped at the swiftness
of it.
His face must have reflected this, for Pellew's expression changed
a little, became softer. After looking at Horatio for a few moments
with that same sad, sympathetic expression he asked, "Are
you certain you're quite well, Mr. Hornblower?"
Horatio hesitated, but knew he could not lie to his captain. "I...confess
I am a bit stiff, sir."
"No doubt, no doubt." Pellew stood up, and walked around
his desk slowly. "Mr. Hornblower, I have been a sea captain
for many years. I have been through many trials but I confess
that none of them - none! - has been as harrowing on my soul as
I believe this past week has been on yours."
Horatio could not argue this point, so kept silent.
"It is said we cannot make friends in the navy," Pellew
continued, "That we as officers must keep our emotions apart.
In that, I'm afraid, you have failed miserably, sir. You have
been mawkish, sentimental, seeking to save Kennedy's life only
because it held value for you, without regard to the impropriety
of it and your gross negligence to your other duties. Such attention
to an accused criminal, no matter what one's personal feelings,
is highly inappropriate and unbecoming an officer in His Majesty's
Navy. For that I must reprimand you quite strongly, sir."
Pellew ended this speech by standing at his desk right in front
of Horatio, and the younger man could feel his cheeks burning.
Knowing a defense would be useless, he merely bowed his head and
whispered, "Yes, sir."
There was another pause, and then Pellew's voice again, softer
and far more kind. "However. Unofficially, Mr. Hornblower,
it was the most heroic and unselfish display of friendship and
loyalty I have ever been privileged to witness."
Horatio looked up, stunned. Pellew was smiling at him.
"No matter what the so-called 'truth' was, you held to your
conviction that Mr. Kennedy was innocent. You challenged a man
who has made those twice your age tremble before him, unafraid.
You stood your ground, Mr. Hornblower, and when all was lost and
there was no one to stand with you, you walked into that night
alone willing to sacrifice everything for what you thought was
the only right and just outcome. That is honor, Mr. Hornblower,
that is England. I am very proud to be your captain today."
Horatio was lost for words for a moment, then stammered, "I
only follow your example, sir. I can only hope I am worthy to
stand in your shadow, someday, as a leader of men."
Pellew accepted this praise with a gentle nod, and said, "Now
get yourself ashore and say your farewells, lieutenant. Come sunset,
it's off to a new adventure."
***********************************************************************************************
It was astonishing to Horatio how different Plymouth looked after
he'd gotten a decent night's sleep. The buildings, the people,
the sunlight glinting off of everything, had been only a hazy
shadow the day before, but now it stood out in crisply edged relief.
Horatio did not think he had been so exhausted, but certainly
it seemed that he had been; the town looked newly minted, like
a shiny silver coin. And yesterday...yesterday seemed like last
week.
The only thing that seemed the same, apparently, was the fascination
with the events of the previous day. People were still talking
about Morgan's death, and the acting lieutenant who had just barely
escaped hanging. Horatio heard different snatches of it from everyone's
lips as he made his way to the Dove, and it was amazing how few
of the details varied from one teller to another. The ships actually
touched, or they fired at each other; Morgan had a dozen different
deaths, including being burned and decapitated; or, in Horatio's
favorite version, Archie had appeared from the hold, his chains
broken, and shot the cowardly bastard through the heart. And come
home a hero.
It was truly a beautiful morning, and Horatio was not surprised
that Terry was sitting outside, still nursing his healing wounds,
a mug of coffee at his elbow and sheafs of writing paper before
him, being held down from the morning breeze by small rocks. Horatio
approached and theatrically doffed his hat, "Pardon me, sir,
but could you spare a copper for a poor sailor who is anxious
for a morning repast?"
Terry laughed and pitched one of the pebbles at Horatio. "And
you owe me change! Have a seat, Lieutenant."
Horatio sat down with a grin on his face. "I came to tell
you we're leaving port on the evening tide. What are you doing?"
"Writing to Trudy," Terry replied, scratching his face
idly, "I'm going to be in town for a while, and she'll come
here herself to get me if I don't let her know where I am."
"Please give her my regards," Horatio said, glancing
at the neatly scripted letter, "But for heaven's sake, don't
tell her I had anything to do with your injuries! She'll kill
me."
"She'll kill you anyway, just for being in the same hemisphere
and not miraculously saving me." Terry paused, and looked
up from the paper. "How's Kennedy?"
Horatio saw no reason to lie, and tilted his head. "He's
better. Well, he's gotten some sleep, at any rate. As for the
rest...I don't know."
The light breeze ruffled Terry's brown curls as he looked down
again at the paper and said, "I know you miss him, Horatio,
but don't rush it. He's been through a lot, it takes time to heal
from that."
Horatio knew Terry was thinking of his sister, and looked down
at the pavement. "I know."
"But he'll make it," Terry said firmly, nodding his
head as if to ease Horatio's doubts, "I'm sure of it, Horatio,
I know what you're afraid of. After Trudy's accident, there was
a long time...until that morning, the one I told you of, I thought
she'd never be herself again. Some people aren't, you know, they
go through a trauma and never recover."
"But you're sure Archie will?"
Terry's smile was hopeful. "Yes, Horatio, I am. I wasn't
sure at first, but what happened at the trial, and again yesterday,
convinced me. Once a person gets down so low they can go in two
directions - flat down or back up. As a lawyer, I've seen plenty
of the 'flat down', believe me. The birds sing, Horatio, but not
everyone listens."
"But Archie did."
Terry nodded. "He testified, and I'm certain that wasn't
easy. He saved your ship, and most importantly he saved that child,
you know it's all people are talking about. He came back up, like
Trudy did. He knew what he had to do, and he did it. I don't know
about you, but I'm very impressed."
Horatio nodded, knew Terry did not need to be told how he felt
about it. "And yet if I remember, Trudy did not heal right
away."
"Of course not. She had months of learning to walk again,
and terrible nights when she cried because she'll never have children.
But you know, once she heard those birds singing that's what she
looked for, and she heard it over and over. It kept her going,
and she never went all the way down again. And I can tell, for
your Mr. Kennedy it's going to be just the same. All he needs
is a light on those dark nights, and he'll find his way home just
fine."
"So you would say he heard the birds singing?" Horatio
asked.
Terry's eyes turned very serious. "Yes, Horatio, he did.
And it turned out to be the crying of a child."
Horatio looked down at the rough table beneath his hands, and
thought of Thomas, and Archie's steadfast determination to save
him. And knew what Terry said was true.
After a moment Horatio looked up again, and spotted Philip Lafferty
standing just outside the entrance to the Dove.
"Oh! There's Lieutenant Lafferty," he said, to catch
Terry's attention, "I wondered where he'd gotten to. I haven't
seen him since we made port yesterday."
To Horatio's surprise, Terry didn't seem surprised at Lafferty's
presence; instead he grinned and said, "Yes, there's some
interesting news connected to our young lieutenant. You haven't
asked me why I'm staying in town yet."
Horatio leveled his eyes at his friend. "I assume it has
something to do with Christopher Stephens."
"Ah! We'll make a lawyer out of you yet," Terry replied
as he continued his writing. "Yes, as soon as all the captains
are in place, Mr. Christopher Stephens is to be court-martialed
for losing the Courageous and a host of other crimes."
"Including your beating," Horatio said bitterly.
"Actually, that's being tried as a separate case. I arranged
it that way with Hood so I could prosecute his court-martial.
As you might guess, I'm rather determined to win this one."
"When are you not?"
"Hm, true. But the news you might find interesting is that
yesterday afternoon Mr. Lafferty sought me out - I didn't go looking
for him, mind you! - and offered whatever help he could in making
certain Mr. Stephens received the justice he deserved. And what's
more, since some of the Courageous boys are still lurking about
town he offered to, as he put it, 'watch out for me', in case
any of them decide to try anything before Stephens is convicted.
It seems that once our friend had a taste of what being on the
right side is like, he became somewhat ravenous for it."
"Indeed," Horatio said, looking at Lafferty again. The
young man was leaning against the wall of the Dove, his arms crossed,
looking up and down the street with a casual determination in
his face that Horatio had never seen before. The softness was
gone from his features, the lax hedonistic leer that so many of
the Courageous officers possessed was erased forever. What was
left was harder, tougher, angrier. And better.
This led to another thought. "Does he know about Dr. St.
John?"
"Yes," Terry replied, a little more sadly, lifting his
eyes to gaze in Lafferty's direction, "It was a little difficult
to explain, but I think what's harder is that the doctor was the
only family Lafferty had on the Courageous, really. He's the only
other person who knows what it feels like to shake off Morgan's
yoke, and although he hides it pretty well I think Lafferty's
a little nervous about being out here by himself, trying to find
another ship, without anyone to really talk to who understands
how he feels."
**we hurt alike**, Horatio thought suddenly, and realized that
those words were true between Lafferty and Dr. St. John as well,
the delicate thread that bound them together. They had both been
on Courageous, both bartered their integrity for whatever satisfied
them, and in the end battled long and hard to win it back, and
at terrible cost. And - just like himself and Archie - the battle
was not over yet. And could still be lost.
Horatio thought about this a moment, then stood. "I have
other business to attend to before we sail, but I will return
before we depart. Will you be here?"
Terry nodded, "I'm trying to think of a way to tell Trudy
I've been injured so she doesn't kill you. I may have to settle
for just making certain you're not too badly maimed." He
grinned up at Horatio mischievously.
"Oh, thank you very much!" Horatio replied archly, and
taking up his hat left the table.
He made certain his path took him by the Dove's front door, and
caught Lafferty's eyes as he approached. The newly-diligent expression
relaxed somewhat, and Lafferty gave Horatio a courteous nod. "Hornblower."
"Mr. Lafferty," Horatio replied, stopping in his travels
and giving a warm smile, "My thanks again for your assistance
yesterday. The men of the Indefatigable owe you their lives, and
I owe you my friend's."
Lafferty set his jaw, and looked down at the ground as if trying
to think of what to say. After a moment he shook his head and
muttered, "I'm glad I could help...but I don't think I did
nearly enough. Not compared to what you and Kennedy went through."
"I'm certain Mr. Kennedy would argue that point, considering
you helped him rescue a child from certain death."
"Hm - how's the boy doing?"
"Excellent, he's on our ship now. There'll be no more bad
dreams for him, or anyone."
"That's good," Lafferty said, lifting his head to look
down the street wistfully, "That's something, at least."
Horatio nodded toward where Terry sat, working on his letter.
"Mr. Whitehall told me you are looking after him while the
court-martial of Mr. Stephens is in progress."
Lafferty turned pink and shrugged. "Well, I...I don't have
anything else to do, and you know Whitehall, he's just walking
around asking for trouble. And I've seen it, there are...men from
the Courageous who haven't found ships, and are just hanging around
the docks. I guess..." Lafferty sighed and looked in Terry's
direction, his expression grim. "I guess Morgan's not dead
yet."
Horatio caught the tired resentfulness in Lafferty's tone, the
frustration that destroying one evil did not destroy them all.
His stomach wrenched a little as he thought of Simpson; his death
did not end Archie's torment; and how much wrong had he and Horatio
been forced to contend with since then? And surely there was more
beyond what they could see. It was truly daunting.
Not certain what else to say, Horatio thought he might change
the subject. "I talked to Dr. St. John yesterday. Terry told
me you are aware of his circumstances."
Lafferty nodded, his eyes hard. "I should have guessed Morgan
would find a way to hold his ship's surgeon hostage. The only
man on the ship who would have known everything that was going
on, who would have seen the bleeding and the... and he couldn't
do a thing about it. God, that bastard."
Horatio noted the bitterness in Lafferty's voice, saw again in
his face the aggravation at recognizing a wrong too late to prevent
it. He remembered Muzillac, and felt the familiar twinge of defeat.
"But you know," Lafferty continued, squinting down the
sunlit street, "That old man's got more courage than I ever
did. It took me forever to move, and I didn't have anything to
hide." Lafferty frowned and scuffed one boot on the pavement.
"He helped me out a lot, Hornblower. There were times...I
thought I was going to go insane, and he talked to me, didn't
turn his back or call me a coward, even though I was one. I owe
him a lot."
"Then tell him so," Horatio suggested, thinking of Terry's
words of family, and other words, we hurt alike. "He might
be encouraged by a visit from a shipmate."
"Yes, I know," Lafferty responded softly, gazing down
the street again, "I've thought about, I guess I just don't
know what to say. I mean, I have my freedom and my future...what
does he have to look forward to?"
"Your freedom and your future," Horatio replied earnestly,
"And his pride that you have done so well."
Lafferty looked down, blushing again, and did not speak for what
seemed to Horatio a long time. After a few moments, he bit his
lip.
Knowing it was time to go, Horatio cleared his throat and put
out his hand. "We sail at sunset, Mr. Lafferty, but I could
not leave without thanking you for your help. I confess I didn't
think so at first, but...well, you've been a good friend to both
myself and Mr. Kennedy. I shall always be grateful."
Lafferty looked up, then smiled a little as he straightened and
took Horatio's hand, "Thank you, Hornblower. I'll think about
what you said. And I can only hope...that someday I have some
of what you've got."
"My life at sea began not so different from yours,"
Horatio rejoined dryly, "So I know there is hope for you
yet." He glanced over his shoulder before adding, "Please
look after Terry for me. You are right about one thing: he does
not hesitate to look for trouble."
"Better than looking away from it. Good luck, Hornblower.
It's been an honor."
***************************************************************************************
At the same time, back on the Indefatigable, Archie Kennedy awakened
from a deep and dreamless sleep, and knew it was time to get up
and face the world.
First there was a drowsy pulling upward, the sensation of coming
out of a dark soft place to a world of harder edges where there
was reality and light, and feeling. Then the reality was there,
the feeling of the soft mattress under his body, the pillow under
his head, and the blanket that was pulled almost to his chin.
For one brief moment the two worlds did not connect, and then
they did, and Archie opened his eyes.
He was awake.
He rolled over, still feeling the ache that had not left him entirely,
not yet. He stared at the timbers above his head, listened to
the quiet creaking and groaning of the ship, smelled the musty,
close odor that lived on all ships, no matter how open and well-ventilated.
He was home.
Home. Archie shuddered, bit his lip against unanticipated tears.
It was home, the way his real home had never been; the sway of
the ship on the water, the sounds of men calling to each other
and the thudding of shoes on resonant wood, the damp salt air
that permeated everything - he had missed this, missed it in a
way he would never had believed had he not been forced away, and
now that he was back he never wanted to be away from it again.
It was strange, he had never had the love of the sea that Horatio
did, had never thought of it as inviting and mystical. For a long
time it was a prison, an island with no escape, and he had wanted
to flee it so badly death would have been welcome. He had almost
looked for it. And now...
Now he wanted that life again. He saw a purpose in it.
With a groan, Archie hefted himself out of the bunk and sat up,
then gingerly made his way to standing and moving about the tiny
cabin. Luckily, he had at least laid his clothes away neatly,
so dressing was effortless. A clean shirt, clean trousers, vest,
newly-brushed jacket - Archie suppressed a smile at this, he knew
HE had not brushed it, but guessed who did. And socks, then shoes,
kerchief, and finally it was time to queue his hair back and go
see the captain. Taking up the ribbon from his dunnage, Archie
turned toward the small mirror that he and Horatio shared -
- and started back in shock as he got the first good look at himself
in over a week.
Good God! He thought when thought came back to him. Before they
reached port he had been ruddy and healthy, the pallor of the
Spanish prison long gone, but - good Lord! Archie ran a disbelieving
hand over his face, where a large green-tinged bruise marred a
visage that was pale and sick-looking, even after a full night's
sleep and more. There were great circles under his eyes, and numerous
scratches and cuts that Archie had not even felt. Many were fading,
some nearly healed over, but more were the results of his last
battle on Courageous, and still an angry, unforgiving red. Only
his hair did not look terrible, because it had been washed before
he was sent to his quarters by the captain, but it hung limp and
framed a gaunt and haunted face. When had he gotten so thin?
Archie stood back from that frightful image, as if it were a stranger
to him. He had never paid much attention to his appearance, had
in fact always resented his boyish looks and the unwelcome attention
they attracted, but now...now Archie was appalled that he looked
so young, so fragile, so frightened. I can't go topside like this,
he thought, almost angrily. I can't.
Archie was thinking first of the captain, how he would react to
seeing Archie in such a state. Pellew would be sympathetic of
course, would notice his infirmities in a way Keene never did,
but something in Archie's spirit rebelled against being looked
at with pity. He gazed at his torn visage again, thought of the
past week and the time before it, when his uncertainty and self-doubt
had plagued and nearly undone him. It had been painful, crippling,
but then - then the bridge was close to exploding, and Horatio
needed help...then a horrible threat had been made, and he was
forced to act...then a child needed rescuing, who had never had
a hand to help him before, and there had been no uncertainty then,
no indecision about what needed to be done. Archie thought of
those time, there had been no shadow of Simpson's evil in those
moments, no small voice questioning his courage or holding him
back. He had simply *acted*.
And that man was the one who must face the captain. Not the one
who must be pitied.
Archie continued to study himself, and struggled with what he
knew must be done. It was safe - familiar - comforting to hide
within himself, but somehow Archie knew that time was past. He
had been through the fire and come out of it, and not by his own
efforts alone; but it must never be that way again. No, not if
he was to be a man like Horatio, like the captain, like Terry
Whitehall who looked evil in the eye and challenged it. This evil
- Morgan's evil - they had challenged on his behalf, and Archie
knew that in repayment his charge was to become the kind of man
who would fight it for others, and never shrink from it again,
or depend on others to fight it for him. To go into battle and
never mind the scars that came from it. For England, for his captain
and crew, and for the countless victims of wrong that still cowered
in dark places and hid their wounds. Archie's jaw set itself in
resolute lines. For them, especially.
Archie thought of Thomas.
The child was safe, Horatio had said so. And he would have a home,
here on the ship, among a crew and a captain that would never
allow what happened to Archie to happen to that boy, never. That
was good, but Archie knew that the boy would look to him as much
as the captain, and that was another reason that the old Archie
had to vanish, for good. The fear, the hesitation, the desire
to hide that had been Archie's mainstay for too many years to
count, that child could not see in him. He must only see victory,
healing, that the night ends and becomes glorious daylight. Archie
would be his example. So the old ways had to be put away forever.
Archie sighed, gazed at himself in the closest scrutiny. Could
he do it? Muzillac had been terrible, the past week one of the
worst of his entire life, could he overcome those quickly so Thomas
could look at him and know that it was possible to go through
the night and not be afraid? His eyes, there was so much of Simpson's
legacy there...could that depart too, so Thomas would never see
it, and know how depraved men could be? Because Thomas would look.
He had been spared that particular agony, but he would look, and
see it in Archie's face. And Archie never wanted him to know about
it. Never.
But wait...Archie looked at his face again, and saw something
else there, something he had not noticed before when he was concentrating
on the bruises and scars and signs of abuse. It was a flush of...anger?
Determination? And there was a light in his eyes when he thought
of what he had been through, a swell of indignation that swept
over him and showed in his eyes in a way that Archie was fairly
certain had not been there before. It helped, it pushed the doubts
of his life back and the nerve he needed forward. Perhaps if I
concentrated on that, Archie mused, Thomas will see it, and not
be afraid. Perhaps - perhaps that is how Horatio does it. I'll
try it, and see. I must do something. I cannot hide and call myself
a man, I cannot cower and think that is just repayment for everything
that has been done for me. The old Archie is dead, by the hands
of those who wanted him so; but the new one will not be so easy
to vanquish.
It's time.
Archie tied his hair back quickly and neatly, and went to see
the captain.
****************************************************************
The knock on Pellew's door was tentative at first, then louder.
The captain looked up from his papers and said, "Come in."
He was expecting Mr. Bracegirdle perhaps, or Hornblower, returned
from Plymouth with letters and news. So he was surprised when
the door opened, and in walked Acting Lieutenant Archie Kennedy.
Pellew's first thought was how pale the boy looked as he came
through the door. God, how pale, and still marked with an exhaustion
that suggested a determination, rather than an ability, to be
fit for duty. But still, there he was. Remarkable.
Kennedy approached the desk and saluted. "Acting Lieutenant
Archie Kennedy, reporting for duty, sir."
Pellew leaned back in his chair and peered into Kennedy's face.
After a moment he said, "Have a seat, Mr. Kennedy."
It almost looked as if the young man would decline the offer,
but after wavering for a few moments he said, "Thank you,
sir," and sat down.
Pellew watched Kennedy closely as he took his seat. He's still
sore, and moving rather gingerly. And his hands, they're not healed
yet, better have Hepplewhite check those bandages. Or Wilcombe,
if I can get him here in time...dammit, I gave Kennedy the rest
of the day, why does he insist on pushing himself when there is
no need? Hm.
As soon as Kennedy was comfortable Pellew looked about his desk
until he found the papers he had been looking for, and said, "Well,
Mr. Kennedy, may I say it is a pleasure to have you back among
us once more, and I hope you are feeling up to the tasks at hand."
"Yes, sir," Kennedy replied swiftly, "Thank you,
sir."
Pellew nodded in reply, and decided it was best to be brisk. "Now
before you resume your duties, there are some matters that need
attending to, regarding the incidents aboard Courageous. You are
aware, I am sure, that Captain Morgan is dead, and that his death
has been ruled a traitor's suicide by Lord Admiral Hood."
Kennedy's bright blue eyes remained locked on him, and an unfamiliar
light came into them at the mention of Morgan's name. "Yes,
sir."
Pellew nodded. "Now regarding your court-martial, you will
be pleased to know that all charges against you in the matter
of the death of Lieutenant Trevor Creps have been dropped by order
of Lord Admiral Hood, and all of your rank and privileges have
been returned to you."
Kennedy's eyes flickered, just a little, but that was the only
sign he gave that this news was in any way out of the ordinary.
"Thank you, sir."
Pellew pursed his lips for a moment, then said quietly, "Mr.
Kennedy, you must know that your release is due to testimony from
an eyewitness, and that the testimony was given to both Lord Admiral
Hood and myself, and Mr. Whitehall, in preparation for your defense."
Kennedy colored, just a bit. "I understand, sir."
Pellew paused, then said, "Mr. Kennedy, I cannot tell you
how sickened and appalled I was to hear such descriptions as came
in your defense. That such violence should emanate from officers
who are entrusted to protect and uphold the standards of English
pride and decency is beyond my power to comprehend. I am deeply
saddened that you should have experienced it."
Kennedy's gaze dropped a little, and he started to speak.
"I am not finished, sir," Pellew continued, "For
I am also deeply saddened and appalled that you took it upon yourself
to bear the burden of this attack, without confiding in myself
or anyone else who could assist you. Alone, you were determined
to take this crime to your grave, and if you had done so, sir,
you would have deprived the fleet of a most valuable and useful
officer. That is waste, Mr. Kennedy, and I will have you know
I do not tolerate waste!"
Kennedy's eyes grew a little bigger, and he whispered, "No,
sir."
Pellew allowed his expression to grow stern. "Now in the
future, Mr. Kennedy, if you find yourself under similar circumstances
you are *not* to place yourself in danger, but to report any such
problems to me immediately, that they may be dealt with swiftly
and surely. I cannot run a ship if my men live in fear. Is that
understood?"
Kennedy nodded, his face a mixture of chagrin and awe. "Perfectly,
sir."
"Good. Now," Pellew's voice became softer as he once
again looked at the papers. "If I understand correctly, it
is possible that your reluctance to come forward was due to the
nature of the attack. Would that be an accurate assessment?"
Kennedy hesitated, then looked Pellew squarely in the eye. "Yes,
sir. My apologies."
Pellew shook his head and said quietly, "No need for that,
Mr. Kennedy, no need. It is understandable, although as I have
related to you entirely unnecessary. No doubt you feared some
lack of discretion would cause this information to fall into gossip
and rumor, or that you yourself might be tarnished by some false
suggestion of cooperation?"
Kennedy looked down, and said nothing.
"I have considered this," Pellew continued, pulling
the reports out and placing them on the desk in front of Kennedy,
"And in doing so have with Hood's cooperation prepared two
reports, the public one of which is amended to protect your privacy,
and keep a discretionary distance from unpleasant details."
Kennedy looked both of these documents over closely, his expression
one of intense concentration. Pellew watched him do this, then
said, "I will not have any of my men keeping such atrocities
to themselves for fear of public knowledge, Mr. Kennedy. And you
can see that I am determined to have justice done for those who
need it."
Kennedy nodded, then put both papers back on the desk. He gazed
at them for a long time, then said, "May I speak freely,
sir?"
Pellew was a bit surprised at this, but said, "Yes, lieutenant."
Kennedy never lifted his eyes from the documents. "If this
amended document goes in the record, it will be as if the attack
as I knew it did not take place. It will be remembered as a beating,
when it was not. It was - " Kennedy, closed his eyes, took
a very deep breath, and when he opened them again it was to stare
straight at Pellew, with a fire in them that was startling to
behold, "I was nearly raped, sir. It shames me now to say
it, even though I have been told I bear no blame. And to speak
of it, even to say its name, before you takes all of the courage
I possess. But still I must do it."
Pellew saw how pale Kennedy was getting, and the flush in his
cheek. "Mr. Kennedy, you do not have to speak of it. I know
what you have undergone."
"Yes, sir, and I am grateful that you do not disrate me or
wish to turn a blind eye to the problem. If I could tell you the
suffering I have undergone because not all captains are as diligent
as you! But I fear - I know that I am not alone in what I have
been through, that others suffer what I have, not here! On other
ships, under other captains who do not know what goes on below
their decks, or cannot be made to care. Or even - " Archie
took another deep, shuddering breath. "Or even participate
in it."
Kennedy's eyes came up then. "You have spoken of waste, sir,
but saving my life will not end it. The others who have undergone
what I have, many of them feel the same isolation and shame that
I did, and thought there was no one to help. But perhaps..."
Kennedy's eyes went to the papers again, "perhaps if they
knew of what happened to me, what *really* happened, they would
have the courage to speak out against their attackers."
Pellew leaned forward, amazed. "Mr. Kennedy, are you asking
that the full report be made public? That the true nature of your
attack be known to everyone?"
Kennedy's eyes were level, and very serious. "I know what
it means, captain, and...and I would be lying if I said the thought
does not fill me with fear. But the fear that I once knew was
far worse, and I...I never want anyone else to go through it,
to think they're alone with no one to help or understand. I am
more afraid of that, sir. I want them to know it is not hopeless."
Pellew stared at Kennedy in frank astonishment. Finally he said,
"If that is your wish, Mr. Kennedy, I will honor it. But
I must warn you, I cannot control how the world behaves towards
the victims of such crimes, especially in cases such as this.
Be certain you are aware of what you are doing."
"Thank you, sir, but I am aware," Kennedy said evenly,
the same fire in his eyes, "And I am determined, captain,
never to hide again."
Pellew felt himself under the tremendous weight of Kennedy's stare,
and cleared his throat as he put the papers away. "We will
be getting underway at sunset, I will see if I can get Dr. Wilcombe
to look after your bandages before we sail. In the meantime, if
you feel you are fit for duty you may report to Mr. Bracegirdle,
I'm certain he will find more than enough for you to do."
"Yes, sir." Kennedy said, and stood up.
Pellew watched him begin to walk away, and suddenly said, "Mr.
Kennedy?"
Kennedy stopped, and turned. "Yes,sir?"
Pellew paused, looked at the blond-haired youth with bruises on
his face and hands, and the marks of brutality on his body that
could not be seen, and his heart untouched by all of it. Finally
he said, "It's good to have you back, Mr. Kennedy."
Kennedy paused, then smiled faintly. "Thank you, sir. It
is good to be back."
***********************************************************************************************
The bells in Plymouth sounded, the slant of the afternoon sun
marked the approach of evening, and with Terry Whitehall in his
company Horatio walked toward the docks, preparing to bid his
friend and his country farewell.
The town had quieted some, people had deserted the streets for
home and tea. There were shopkeepers out sweeping their stoops,
and the usual motley collection of beggars and sellers, well-dressed
businessmen and shabbily-clothed hucksters, and in them all Horatio
saw only that he was leaving, and could not wait to be gone. His
home was the sea; and most of the memories of land were, at the
moment, unpleasant.
Finally he and Terry reached the dock, where out in the harbor
they could see Indefatigable waiting like a patient mother. Terry
took a deep breath and said, "Well, it looks like it's off
to another grand adventure, eh, Horatio? Just smell that salt
air. Reminds me of home."
Horatio nodded in agreement, although he was thinking of another
home entirely. "I am eager to get back to it. I feel as if
I've been away a year."
"You just about have!" Terry said with a wide grin.
"With all this excitement, I'm sure you don't even remember
what it's like to be on the open sea, but I know you'll get it
back soon enough. "You just about have!" Terry said
with a wide grin. "With all this excitement, I'm sure you
don't even remember what it's like to be on the open sea, but
I know you'll get it back soon enough. "
Horatio glanced over his shoulder. "Where is Mr. Lafferty?
I thought perhaps he would be dogging our footsteps."
"He said he had an errand to run, and made me promise to
be careful. Now don't forget to give Pellew those documents for
his records, I want him to know every inch of what's going on
ashore regarding Stephens' court-martial."
"I won't." Horatio said, still watching the ship, "I
am certain you will be receiving a letter of thanks from Mr. Kennedy,
as soon as he has recovered enough to write it."
Terry shook his head. "He doesn't owe me one. If he looks
after you, and keeps listening for those birds, that's all the
thanks I ask. I even mentioned it in the letter I wrote to Trudy."
Horatio looked at him, startled. "You didn't!"
"Oh - well, not everything of course, why make her madder
than she already will be! But I said enough, I think she'll appreciate
that someone went through the same thing she did, and came out
all right. Who knows, if you ever get shore leave and Kennedy
comes along, maybe they can even get together and talk about it.
Might help both of them."
Horatio nodded in agreement, and wondered that he had not thought
of that before. Oh, well. Turning to his friend and pulling an
envelope out of his jacket he said, "Thank you for everything,
Terry. Give my love to your father and Trudy, and please give
this letter to my father. Tell him that I am sorry I could not
see him, but I shall be along to visit him when I am next in port."
Terry took the letter with a smile. "Of course. I'm certain
he'll understand."
Horatio frowned at the letter, and said, "I can only hope
so."
Terry shook his head as he pocketed the letter. "You Hornblowers
and your stiff upper lips! One of these days you'll break right
in half, and I'll be there to say I told you so!"
Horatio was unsure how to take this; somewhat flustered, he merely
thrust out his hand and said, "Take care of yourself, Terry."
"Ugh!" Terry responded, and before Horatio could stop
him wrapped the taller youth in a huge bear-hug. Only after Terry
released Horatio did he take the other man's hand, and shook it
warmly. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Keep yourself safe,
Horatio, and write to me so I know how you're faring. Tell Kennedy
to do the same."
"I will." Horatio gasped.
The sun was just beginning its downward journey, turning the air
golden and warm. It glinted off Terry's face as he looked over
Horatio's shoulder and said, "Now I hope you don't mind,
but as the lawyer in Kennedy's case I did perform one last duty,
on behalf of a witness who begged a favor of me regarding dispensation
of gratitude."
Horatio blinked at his friend.
Terry gave him a look of mock exasperation. "Turn around,
Horatio."
Horatio did, and found his eyes traveling to the narrow line of
buildings that lined the docks, and one particular alleyway.
Rose was standing there.
"The defense rests," Terry said behind him, and patted
him on the back. "See you later, Horatio."
Horatio looked at Rose, heard Terry's retreating footsteps and
knew he was gone. And found he could not move.
Rose moved, finally, stepping out of the alleyway into the setting
sun, her head high and her shoulders back, and a smile on her
lips. Finally remembering himself, Horatio met her on the sidewalk,
taking her hands in his and for a moment not saying a word. He
could only remember the last time they met, the darkness and the
terrible words, and when Archie would have so willingly forsaken
his life, she alone had found a way to save it.
He had no words. He looked down at Rose's hands in his and blushed.
It was Rose who spoke first, who gently removed one hand from
his and, putting it into her pocket, drew out a small red-bound
book. "I didn't know where you'd be," she said quietly,
pressing the book into his hands, "So I asked Mr. Whitehall
to bring you here if he could. I wanted to see you away, and give
you this. Mr. Kennedy asked me to keep it for you."
Horatio was still lost, looked into her knowing eyes and stammered,
"Forgive me, ma'am, I am unprepared to thank you properly,
I..." he gave up, and sighed, looking at the worn book in
his hands. "There is not enough time to tell you how grateful
I am, or enough gold in the world to repay the debt I owe you.
You have been very kind..."
"No," Rose disagreed softly, putting her hands on his,
"It is you, who didn't give up when he might have, and who
paid attention when higher heads would have turned away and stopped
caring, who deserves the thanks. That and every good thing the
world has to offer. I hope you get them, lieutenant."
"I already have more than enough," Horatio insisted,
lifting his head to look at the Indy, anchored on the sparkling
water, "More than I should - a captain I respect, and a ship
I am proud to serve on. But they would have gone for naught, and
all my fortunes made forfeit, if Archie had been hanged. And you
alone were able to unlock his heart, when I could not. Thank you."
Rose smiled graciously. "I only saw what I had to do, and
did it. Like him, and you. We can't leave the world alone, can
we? It don't know how to look after itself."
Horatio smiled at this, and then cast his eyes about the deserted
streets in thought. Bringing his eyes back to Rose he said, "Let
me help you. This cannot be the life you want, I can see about
finding you some less dangerous way to earn your living. A seamstress
perhaps, or a laundress. I cannot bear to sail away and know you
are left here, in the foulness of the streets."
Rose did not seem offended by this, as Horatio feared she might
be. In fact, she looked at him with astonished gratitude, and
what Horatio thought might be humor. Then she shook her head and
said, "It's not that I'm not grateful, lieutenant, but you
don't understand, I made a promise. I promised a young man, with
a heart as big as yours, that I would look for hearts that had
been broken like his, and help them. And I mean to keep it. But
I'll never find them hiding in a sewing shop, or a laundry, or
anywhere people are warm and safe and dry. That's not where they
hide. They're in the dark, in the alleys and gutters and the frightening
places proper people don't go. That's where I'm supposed to be,
where I can do good just like you do. Be happy for that."
Horatio stared at her for a long moment, astounded at this woman
who had been beaten, degraded her entire life, and when offered
a chance at safety and security chose instead to remain among
the shadows, where she could help. Finally he said, "You
are a remarkable woman, Rose. I am honored to have known you."
Rose leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "The honor
is all mine, gallant knight. Now go. We both know there are still
young innocents to protect, and kingdoms that need defending.
Are there are still many dragons to slay."
*************************************************************
The sun was just beginning to set as former First Lieutenant Philip
Lafferty made his way to the Admiralty. The sky was warm with
changing hues, pinks and pale blues and yellows that would ripen
later into blazing purple and orange and red.
Red sky at morning, sailors take warning; red sky at night, sailor's
delight.
Tomorrow would be a good day.
For now, though, Lafferty had to admit to himself that the immediate
future did not look so rosy. He knew the Indefatigable would be
sailing at sunset, knew that with it went the only friends he
had left in the world. Well, that wasn't exactly true; he considered
Whitehall a friend, but that was different. And it wasn't precisely
what Lafferty wanted. Now that the trial was over, now that his
entire world had changed and been rebuilt, Lafferty wanted to
be busy, to try out this new conscience that Whitehall said was
such a wonderful thing to have and see what could be done with
it.
He wanted to work, dammit. And there was no work to be had.
It was a grim prospect indeed, Lafferty mused as he began to climb
the stairs that would take him into the Admiralty's lobby area.
There were few ships that even needed officers, and fewer still
that were interested in one who could not ship out right away.
And when it was revealed that he had served on Courageous...well,
it was downright depressing. Downright -
Lafferty stopped, paused on the stairs.
Shouting sounds, scuffling. A fight.
He drew his sword.
Down the steps quickly, and around the corner. There was an alleyway,
a dark one, and Lafferty made out three large forms and a smaller
one. Pulling himself up to what he hoped was an imposing height,
Lafferty said loudly, "Stop that!"
The three large forms stopped. The smaller one fell to the pavement,
and sat there sniffling.
Undaunted, Lafferty took a few steps closer, his sword still drawn.
"You gentlemen having a problem?"
They backed away, but one of them craned his neck a little and
spat, "Shit, Lafferty! That's you, isn't it?"
Uh-oh, Lafferty thought, recognizing the voice of one of the Courageous'
officers. "Wittman, what kind of sport is this? Beating midshipmen
for money!"
"Beats working for it," one of the others snickered.
Lafferty took two more quick steps forward, planting himself firmly
between the stricken youth and his tormenters. "Be off with
all of you. I see any more of this kind of behavior and I'll be
handing your names over to the beadle."
The sword kept them at bay, but Wittman's voice was biting in
the dark. "Well, look who's gotten high and mighty all of
a sudden! You're marked, Lafferty, every officer on the Courageous
knows what you did. Don't think you won't pay for it either."
Lafferty's stomach wrenched at this, but of course he knew it
would happen. He took a deep breath and thought **the only thing
necessary for evil to triumph...** "Don't you men understand
the King's English? I said go away!"
There was a pause, and Lafferty tried to conceal how hard his
heart was beating. If there was a fight, he couldn't take all
three of them...but if the child could get away...
Then, like a sail that had lost its wind, Wittman backed down,
his shoulders losing none of their defensive posture. He grumbled
something to his mates, and they followed him, but as they left
Lafferty could see their eyes, and the resentment in them.
No, it was not over. Not by a long shot.
Finally remembering to breathe, Lafferty sheathed his sword -
no mean feat considering how badly his hands were shaking, and
turned to the child he had been protecting. "Are you all
right?"
Then he stopped, and looked around. The child had run away.
Lafferty looked up and down the street, walked back through the
alleyway and looked everywhere he could think of. The boy was
nowhere.
Damn, Lafferty thought, it may be selfish but a 'thank you' would
have been nice. Finally, after five minutes of searching and finding
nothing, Lafferty decided it was fruitless and retraced his steps
to the Admiralty building, to find out where Dr. St. John was
being held.
The Admiralty was a very busy place, and today was no exception.
Unfortunately, it meant that Lafferty had to wait for everything.
No one knew where St. John was, or who to ask; then the person
who knew was busy, and could he wait? With nothing else to do,
and ready to explode with frustration, Lafferty took a seat in
the large atrium, and thought dark and aggravated thoughts.
"That's him!"
The sound of a young voice piping up caught Lafferty's attention,
and he came back from ten minutes of depressed wanderings to look
toward the door, where the sound had come from. There was the
midshipman who had run off earlier, scuffed up and with a bruise
on his cheek, but otherwise apparently unharmed. With him was
a tall man with graying blond hair, a ship's captain obviously,
who was following the lad's pointing finger and walking straight
toward Lafferty with a smile on his face.
Oh God, Lafferty thought, and stood as quickly as he could and
saluted.
"At ease, lieutenant," the captain said with a smile,
"I only want a word with you. Young Mr. Taylor here tells
me you gave him some assistance in an alleyway, when some other
boys were giving him trouble. Is that true?"
"Well - " Lafferty glanced down at Taylor, was surprised
that the youth was grinning up at him like he was important or
something, "I heard some noise, and went to offer my assistance.
Anyone would have done it."
"Don't say that so fast, young man," the captain said
with an admiring scowl, "For we both know it isn't true.
What ship are you with?"
"Er - none at the moment, sir. My ship was lost."
"Oh, sorry to hear that. I would have liked to commend you
to your captain, mister - ?"
"Lafferty. Lieutenant Philip Lafferty."
"Lafferty!" the captain's eyes lit up, "I know
that name. You aren't related to the Lafferty who assisted in
the Courageous affair, are you?"
Lafferty sighed inwardly; there was no use denying it. "I
am that man, sir. Although assisted is a pretty strong word for
my part in it."
"That's not what I hear," the captain said, tilting
his head back and looked at Lafferty more closely, "Have
you found another ship?"
Lafferty tried to sound optimistic. "No, but I'm testifying
in a court-martial case, and then...well, they tell me something
should come up soon."
The captain looked down at young Taylor, who looked back up at
him. Then he said, "Well, lieutenant, I just may have an
opportunity for you. My first lieutenant is taking shore leave
next month to attend his wife, who's expecting. It's going to
leave me a lieutenant short. Would you like to sign on?"
Lafferty thought this over, it sounded promising but - "Thank
you, sir, but aren't there men on your ship who would like the
promotion?"
"Well, that's the thing," the captain replied, "None
of them do. It requires a lot of maintaining discipline, and at
the moment that can be a pretty tall order. Oh, no - " the
captain said hastily, as Lafferty's jaw dropped, "Not like
that, no mutiny or anything, but...well, let me ask you, lieutenant,
you seem to have a pretty highly developed sense of right and
wrong?"
Confused, Lafferty answered, "Well...I'm trying to, sir."
"And from what I've seen and heard, you don't put up very
well with undeserving, good people being unreasonably abused."
That was an easy one to answer. "No. I don't."
"Well, then, I'll explain," the captain took a deep
breath, and said, "I recently hired a new ship's surgeon,
and he's half-Spanish. Excellent fellow, and most of my crew adore
him, but some of the men, well, it's a hard time adjusting. I
need an officer who can see that he does his job undisturbed,
and free from any of that kind of nonsense when I'm not around.
Do you think you'd like the job?"
Lafferty hesitated for a moment, glanced down at the child by
the captain's side. The child was looking up at his captain again,
and there was no fear there, no uneasiness whatsoever. This man
did not seem like Morgan at all, not bullying or malicious, in
fact quite the opposite. In fact, he seemed an awful lot like...Pellew.
Lafferty smiled and said, "If you think I'm worthy of such
a task, sir, I would be happy to accept the commission. I can
sail as soon as Mr. Stephens' court-martial is over."
"Excellent!" The captain said, and gave Lafferty a welcoming
smile, "Lieutenant Lafferty, I am Captain Andrew Turner.
Welcome aboard the Valiant."
*****************************************************************************
At last the sun began to set, and another day was drawing to its
close.
The light pastels and see-through colors of the afternoon began
to give way to the deeper reds and fiery orange that marked what
promised to be a spectacular sunset. Everywhere in the sky the
banners unfurled, yellow, purple, and brightest crimson setting
themselves against the deepening azure, trailing color and light
as far as the eye could see. Housewives stopped in their work
and leaned out of their windows to admire it, and on the hills
farmers paused, and admired the sight.
It was a beautiful sunset. And tomorrow would be a beautiful day.
In his room at the Admiralty, Dr. St. John paused in his writing
to look. The waning sunlight splashed across the names he had
written down, flowed across them with the promise of new sunrises
and days to come, for lives thought forever lost and darkened.
For a moment Dr. St. John put down his pen, and walked to where
the window looked out on the city street, and turned his searching
eyes upward, and saw the sky. The glorious, kaleidoscope sky that
seemed to herald the dawn even as it sang itself to sleep.
He sat down in the nearby chair, to watch the colors change. He
thought he had never seen anything so beautiful.
There was a swift knock at the door, and suddenly Lieutenant Lafferty
was there, all excitement. "Doctor, you'll never guess what
happened - "
Dr. St. John put a hand up to silence the young man, and motioned
him over. Curious, Lafferty came over, and when he saw the fantastic
display said softly, "My God. Look at all that color."
St. John nodded slowly. "It's miraculous, isn't it."
Lafferty watched it for a few moments, then turned his eyes from
the sight, and turning his hat in his hands said, "I wanted
you to know, I think - well, remember what you said about being
on the right side of the wall?"
St. John smiled faintly, glanced to where the names on the paper
sat, patiently awaiting their due. "Yes, lieutenant?"
Lafferty looked at him in all seriousness. "I like it here.
I'm never going back."
Dr. St. John smiled a little wider, then turned his eyes to the
sky, to hide his grateful tears, and whispered, "Neither
am I, lieutenant."
And together they watched the incredible promise of the setting
sun.
******************************************************************************
The sunset drew attention on Indefatigable as well, causing men
to pause in their work to admire the blazing panoply of color
that arched over their heads as they readied themselves for the
sea. Even Mr. Bracegirdle took note of it, and as he headed down
to the captain's cabin to let him know that they were ready to
weigh anchor and head out to the open waters, he thought perhaps
he would mention the brilliant sunset to Pellew, who sadly had
missed one too many of those while he was hunched over his desk,
planning and preparing. Yes, it would do the captain good to see
one really beautiful sunset before they left home...
Because he was in that frame of mind, Bracegirdle was utterly
astonished when he knocked on the door, heard the captain's voice,
and went in to find Pellew staring out of the very windows he
usually ignored. Staring mesmerized, as if he had always done
it.
Well, hm, Bracegirdle thought, and stood in front of the desk
at attention. "Sir, the ship is ready to sail. We will be
underway within the half-hour."
There was a longer-than-usual pause, and then Pellew said, very
quietly, "Thank you, Mr. Bracegirdle."
Bracegirdle nodded, although with his back to him Pellew couldn't
see it. "Sir."
The captain tilted his head and cleared his throat. "Have
you seen the sunset tonight?"
Bracegirdle thought about this for a moment; Pellew didn't usually
mention such things. "Yes, sir, very spectacular. Hard to
keep the men's minds on their work with that display."
Pellew nodded, then turned toward his desk. Bracegirdle saw a
very thoughtful, almost distressed look on his face and asked,
"Sir, are you feeling well? Shall I call the surgeon?"
"Hm? Oh, no, Mr. Bracegirdle, I'm quite..." Pellew sat
down, very slowly, and put his hand to his mouth in thought for
several very long moments. Feeling this may not be a short conversation,
Bracegirdle sat down, eying his captain warily.
Finally Pellew spoke, and his voice had a wondering quality to
it. "I spoke with Mr. Hornblower today, and Mr. Kennedy also.
I have no idea what they've been through, as officers or as men,
but I know what I have been through this past week, Anthony, and
it has exhausted me. And yet I looked upon these young men, who
have seen and experienced things that make me shiver, and they
are not unbowed. They do not flinch, they do not turn aside, they
have not been conquered. I am amazed, Anthony. I am in awe."
Bracegirdle smiled in sympathy. "They are indeed remarkable,
sir."
"Remarkable!" Pellew breathed, placing his hand lightly
on the desk, "Do you know, Mr. Bracegirdle, that offered
the opportunity of a comfortable silence, Mr. Kennedy chose instead
to be exposed, for the good of those who do not the courage to
speak out against their tormentors? If I were his age, in his
circumstance, would I have done the same? And Mr. Hornblower,
to sacrifice everything that is important to him, to stare into
the mouth of hell itself and draw back a life and a victory, are
there a half a dozen youths in history that can claim the same?"
His eyes sought Bracegirdle's imploringly, "And how is it
that *I* of all men have been chosen to command such young men?
Of all the captains of all the ships at sea, how am I so richly
blessed? I have thought on it all afternoon, Anthony. I cannot
raise an answer."
Bracegirdle saw the light behind Pellew fading, growing richer,
breaking into the splendid colors that would deepen into night,
and then dawn. With a smile he said, "Perhaps there is none,
sir. But we all must do our duty, after all."
Pellew returned that smile gratefully. "Aye, Mr. Bracegirdle.
It is our life."
**********************************************************************************
Horatio finally found Archie, after looking for him for the better
part of the afternoon.
The Indy was underway; her great sails billowed and snapped in
the warm wind, her riggings pulled tall into the sunset sky. Everywhere
was business and commotion, and then as the great ship pulled
away from Plymouth to her next adventure, the activity eased,
and everyone settled in for another long voyage, and more adversity.
It was during this lull that Horatio had finally located his friend,
after looking everywhere for him to no avail. He had assisted
Mr. Bracegirdle in some things, until the first lieutenant noticed
that he was sitting down frequently and ordered him to go get
some rest. Bracegirdle thought, then, that Archie had retired
to his cabin, but he was not there. He was not in the mess, or
anywhere on the gun decks. For a very brief moment Horatio had
a moment of panic, thinking perhaps that his friend had gone ashore
for something and not made it back to the ship. Dear God -
It was Thomas, finally, who was sitting with Matthews and Jenkins
and learning how to make sailor's knots, who noticing Horatio's
lost expression gave him a simple smile, and pointed upward. Frowning,
Horatio followed his gaze.
And saw a figure sitting alone on the fighting top. It was Archie.
For a brief moment, Horatio considered not climbing up there.
He did not like heights, and anyway Archie would be down soon
enough. But it would be the perfect place to talk to him, no one
would hear...and there was so much to talk of...
So Horatio gave an resigned sigh, and climbed the ratlines to
the fighting top.
It was not a bad climb; as he pulled himself upward Horatio's
mind turned back, to another warm sunlit day, and another climb.
Higher and higher, until the world was under his feet, and the
wind and light was in his hair. All of his troubles had gone then,
the despair of Muzillac, the burden of his failures, they were
all gone and he had simply breathed in the bright white air of
future and happiness and opportunity. The night had closed in,
and there had been darkness, but for that moment it did not seem
real, and there was only joy.
And now he was climbing the ropes again, toward that self-same
goal. It was difficult, almost impossible to reach; but it was
worth the climb. It always had been.
The way the Indy's sails were set, one could see from the fighting
top a vast and eternal sea capped by a blazing sunset that stretched
forever overhead and beyond. The sun was almost down, and it was
at the point where every hue was at its richest, and every facet
was at its most true. Even Horatio, who did not notice such things,
marveled at its beauty as he set foot on the metal grating. From
there, it was as if one was looking out on a kaleidoscope of endless
colors dancing from a timeless sea. It was mesmerizing.
Archie did not even seem to notice that Horatio was beside him.
Horatio looked at him, saw the reddening rays of the sun touching
his face, turning his fair hair to a burnished copper, and his
light skin to a ruddy gold. Archie's eyes were on something below,
and Horatio followed his gaze to where Matthews and Thomas sat,
the wise old sailor patiently teaching the eager boy while his
young friend attended quietly at his side.
Horatio smiled slightly and said, "So this is where one must
go to find the hero of the Indefatigable."
Archie glanced at him, then smiled a little in return and said,
"Hello, Horatio."
"I have been searching all over for you," Horatio replied,
reaching into his jacket and pulling out the small red book, "I
wanted to let you know that Rose returned this to me. She told
me you entrusted it to her."
"Oh - yes," Archie admitted, shifting a little on the
grating as he watched the setting sun, "That where I found
the reference to club-hauling, in fact - damned handy, that book."
"Yes, but it does you no good when you are faced with three
angry captains and a fire ship!" Horatio replied, and was
gratified when Archie laughed. He had not heard that sound in
far too long.
The sun went down a few more degrees, and the wind shifted and
sighed through the sails. Finally, in a quiet voice that cracked
with longing, Archie said, "I did not think it possible to
miss anything so much."
"It does seem like forever, doesn't it," Horatio responded,
and toyed with the book in his hand.
"It does," Archie said, and sighed, "Horatio, there's
something I...I need to talk to you about."
Horatio looked up, saw the anguish on his friend's face.
Archie took a deep breath, then said, "You have been a good
friend to me, better than I deserved. After I was arrested, when
you were trying to help me, I - I lied to you, I was not honest
when you needed me to be. Oh, God, I nearly got you killed! I
nearly got everyone killed."
Horatio could see the anxiety in Archie's eyes, and sought to
reassure him. "But you didn't, Archie, we are all fine, and
that is in the past. Captain Pellew told me - well, he told me
you feared Morgan's wrath if the truth were told. He is - was
- a formidable enemy."
Archie looked at Horatio sideways. "What did the captain
tell you about what happened?"
Horatio held his breath for a moment, then decided to see what
would happen if he feigned ignorance. "He told me that Morgan
threatened you with a beating, and that was why you remained silent.
I must say, in your situation I would have done the same."
Archie nodded, and his gaze traveled downward. Horatio could see
that he was watching Thomas, who was laughing at some joke that
Matthews had just told him. Squaring his shoulders, Archie said,
"It was not - " Archie paused, and closed his eyes,
"Horatio, it was not a beating. I suppose you will hear it
anyway, I...I asked Pellew to change the report. It was not...*just*
a beating."
Horatio felt every nerve go numb, saw the tremendous struggle
in Archie's eyes, the battle between freedom and fear. He was
not certain how this would come out, and wished to God they were
on solid ground, instead of hundreds of feet in the air. He leaned
closer to Archie, in case he was needed.
For what seemed like a long time there was only the sound of the
ocean beneath them, and the filling of the sails above. Sea birds
cried and circled overhead; and all around the gold and crimson
of the setting sun. And then, as if it were years later, Archie
opened his eyes and stared at the shifting colors as he spoke.
"Horatio, I never wanted you to know this, never, because
I was afraid if you did I would lose the one friend I have in
the world. But this is more important, if you decide once I tell
you that it is too dangerous to your career to..." Archie
paused, and sighed, "Well, I'll understand."
Horatio felt a chill at those words. "Archie - "
A quick deep breath, then, "Creps and Morgan were going to
rape me."
There it was, out. Very quickly Archie continued, "Creps
had heard - he knew Simpson, and Simpson's black heart, you remember
him? Do you remember how he used to beat us, well it - with some
of us, it didn't stop there. Simpson...from the time, I think
I was about twelve, he would..." Archie's expression hardened
into something Horatio had not seen before, and finally he blurted,
"He would rape me. I -I was ashamed, for years I wanted to
die, but I can't hide from it any longer, you see? Some day you'll
find out, but someone has to know, and by God I'm sick of being
afraid and alone, and it won't happen to him, not to Thomas or
to anyone else, Horatio, do you hear me? I won't let it, by God!
I won't!"
Archie was almost shouting now, his face flushed with more than
the evening sun. Horatio took his arms, briefly, because at that
height there was no telling what one moment's unbalance could
do. Archie looked at him wildly for a moment, then seemed to relax,
and smoothed his hair away from his face where it had blown untended.
But his face lost none of its anger; it had not nearly been spent.
"I thought..." Archie took another breath, held it for
a moment before letting it out, "Well, dammit, Horatio, you
might as well know the whole thing. At first I thought I could
stop it, and when I couldn't do that, when Creps had me at the
wall and Morgan said - " Archie turned to Horatio then, his
eyes blazing so painfully that Horatio could hardly stand to look
at them. "He was like Simpson, Horatio. *Just* like Simpson,
do you understand?"
"I do," Horatio replied, feeling his anger joining with
Archie's, until he was trembling with it, "What I don't understand
is why you didn't tell me. Damn it, Archie, we have both felt
Simpson's anger. You saved my life; there is nothing you could
tell me that would cancel that debt, or make me any less grateful
for your friendship. And yet you shut me out, Archie, why? I think
you owe me at least an answer."
"I know," Archie said, and there was a note of despair
in his voice as he turned his eyes to the horizon, "Believe
me, Horatio, I know what you went through to help me. And not
only you - Terry Whitehall, and Mr. Lafferty, and you do not know
what I would have given to have one person to talk to! But you
did not..." Archie took another deep breath, and closed his
eyes against some overwhelming memory, "You did not *feel*
that weight upon you, Horatio, you've never...felt..." Archie
searched for words, gave up, and merely wrapped his arms tightly
around himself and stared at the water. "If I had told you
- if I had told *anyone* - I knew what would happen, what revenge
Morgan would exact, and I could not bear it, Horatio. He was going
to slander your name, but I know his nature and he would not have
been content to stop at that, not if I challenged him. I was accustomed
to being used, but you are not. I would rather endure your anger
- your resentment - your pity - than endure the memory of what
that man might have done to you. I'm sorry."
For a long time Horatio could not answer. Archie was still trembling,
his bandaged hands gripping his arms as if they were the only
anchors keeping him to the earth. After a moment Archie ducked
his head into his folded arms and kept it there, and Horatio could
hear him drawing deep breaths in an effort to calm himself.
"And do you think," Horatio said quietly, without even
having to think of the words, "That it would have been preferable
to me, to know that you had given your life and your body for
my benefit, and died for it? Do you think I would not have moved
heaven and earth to help you, if I had only known the cause of
your silence? I very nearly did, Archie, I went to Morgan and
offered to be placed on his ship if he would spare your life."
Archie's head came up, and the shocked look on his face made Horatio
start back. "Oh, God, you didn't."
"I did," Horatio replied, quietly but firmly, "That
is how much the life you were willing to discard is worth, Mr.
Kennedy. I do not ever want you to forget it."
"Christ, Horatio," Archie whispered, and Horatio could
tell he was shaken to his foundation, "You were going to...oh,
God, on the Courageous...under that man..."
Archie seemed so distressed at this that Horatio felt the need
to calm him. "It would not have been so terrible...Philip
Lafferty offered to look after me."
"Oh, God!" Archie said, throwing his head back to stare
wide-eyed at the sky, "Lafferty as well! I do not understand,
Horatio, so much was risked on my account, you - Lafferty, he
could have been killed trying to save me, and Terry Whitehall
- God, he was beaten, I would not blame him if he hated me for
keeping my silence - "
"On the contrary," Horatio replied, leaning forward
so Archie could hear his words, "He sees only what I do,
not the long night you have come through but what lies at the
end of it. You saved that child, Archie, and you saved yourself.
Terry knew you from the start, he only hoped as I did that you
would save yourself because we could not. And you did."
Archie's shoulders slumped, and he stared at the deck below them,
"God, Horatio, I have made such a mess of things! And all
because I did not want you to know what had happened, and it will
all come out anyway." Archie hugged himself again, as if
he had been stripped of everything, and gazed at the sunset silently.
"I could have left it hidden. But it will come out one day,
you would have heard it from somewhere I'm sure. And I've decided..."
Archie took another deep breath..."If I pretend it didn't
happen - if I allow such acts to go unchallenged and unknown -
it will be as if Simpson and Morgan won, you see. I suppose -
it will have to be worth losing a friendship to prevent that.
It must be."
Horatio allowed his exasperation full flower. "Archie Kennedy,
for the love of God will you stop saying that!"
Archie blinked, genuinely confused.
Horatio answered that confusion with a determined glare. "Archie,
I owe you my life. Do I need to remind you that I have shames
of my own, and you have been witness to them? Muzillac, Archie,
I was down in the dirt covered with tears, useless to myself or
anyone else. Did you turn away from me? Did you discount me because
at that moment I was not a man? No, you came across the bridge
and saved me, and for that I will be eternally in your debt. Whether
you are prepared to receive it or not, Archie, you have my friendship,
and learning that you have been cruelly used - and by a man who
used me as well, no less! - does not make me hate you. It makes
me admire you."
Now Archie looked astonished. "Horatio, you - "
"Yes, Archie, I admire you. I admire your courage and your
strength, and a determination that I could never have myself if
I lived to be a hundred. Look down below you, what do you see?"
Archie obliged. "Thomas, with Matthews."
"Yes. Thomas, who owes his life to you as well. Thomas, who
has one friend in the world who knows his hurts, who hauled him
out of the dark, and that is you. Does he think the less of you
that you see the selfsame scars in each other? I think not."
Archie brought his eyes back up to the sunset, "Yes, but
there's something else...Horatio, what I've been through is not...the
Navy does not understand it. And if our association were ever
used against you..." Archie shook his head, "It isn't
worth the risk."
"It is you who do not understand," Horatio said firmly,
and setting a hand on Archie's arm looked straight into his eyes
so there would be no mistaking his meaning, "I will say it
again and again, and still you will not understand! Archie Kennedy,
I would rather be your friend in the lowest gutter of London,
than be admiral of all the fleet and have that friendship denied."
Archie did not move, did not say anything, but looked into Horatio's
eyes in amazement, as if that was the last thing he expected to
hear. Now, with the past he had kept so carefully hidden so completely
unfolded, Horatio could tell he was expecting to be turned away,
and seemed almost afraid it was not happening. He stared at Horatio
as if he was in shock. Then he turned away.
Horatio turned away too, to look at the colors of the setting
sun, and as he did so he wondered if perhaps he had taken his
anger too far. Archie had been through hell, and would likely
have more demons to conquer before he could lay them completely
to rest. Horatio cursed himself; he had never had his mother's
gift for eloquence...
The sun was truly setting now, the purples and reds deepening
on their way to the twilight that would become night. Horatio
gazed at it, thought sadly that he had failed once again; another
burden to add to the ones he already carried. And there was nothing
-
"Well."
Horatio started. "Archie?"
"Well," Archie repeated, still facing the sun, and he
cleared his throat before continuing, "It seems you have
caught me at a loss, Mr. Hornblower, I..." He shook his head
and gave up. "Oh, Christ, Horatio, I wish you'd hate me!
It would make this so much easier."
"Easier for who?"
Archie was silent for a moment, then said, "I'm sorry, but
I never imagined my life beyond this moment, when the worst was
known. I thought the world would end then, and I suppose I'm a
little confused that it hasn't, but I do know - " Archie
turned to Horatio, and Horatio saw the serious look in his eye,
the unflinching intensity that had always been there, but buried;
it was coming to life, now. "Horatio, I am not - used - to
mattering to anyone. What you did for me - what Terry Whitehall
and Captain Pellew and Lieutenant Lafferty did to try and save
my life - it baffles me, Horatio. It's frightening."
Horatio tried to think of words. "Well, yes, but - "
"No, let me finish. It's frightening, but - I thank you for
it. Thank you, Horatio, for not giving up on me, when I had given
up on myself." Archie smiled and said brightly, "You
are an inspiration, Mr. Hornblower, and a steadfast light to those
who need it. I hope that I can, in whatever way possible, prove
myself to be worthy of your friendship."
Horatio blinked, did not know what to say. Archie was not the
wounded, tentative young man he had known at that moment, nor
the buoyant youth, nor anyone Horatio was familiar with. This
was another Archie, newly born, and Horatio sat back and studied
him for a moment before deciding this was the best possible one
there could be. Smiling in relief, he put a hand on Archie's shoulder
and said, "You have always been worthy, Mr. Kennedy. Remember
that."
Archie returned the smile in a shy way, and did not move for a
moment. Then he turned to lean back against the mast, and Horatio
heard him sigh, as if relaxing into this new body. Horatio moved
to settle back against the mast as well, gazing thoughtfully across
the vast, sparkling waters, savoring the warmth of the sun and
the gentle wind in his hair. For a moment the two young men simply
sat there, comfortable in each other's company. Then Archie said
quietly, "I'm frankly rather surprised you came all the way
up here. Devilish long climb."
"Hm," Horatio said, taking a deep breath, "Well,
actually, I was curious - are you free for a game of whist later,
or are your hands still bothering you?"
Archie blinked, as if he had trouble coming back to the real world.
Then he looked down and flexed his bandaged digits. "Oh -
they're getting on well enough."
"Because of Dr. Hepplewhite's attentions, or in spite of
them?"
"Ugh! Don't remind me. It's a shame we couldn't bring the
captain's doctor on board instead."
"You do remember how to play, don't you?"
"No."
"Ah, then it will be just like it was before!"
"Horatio, was that a joke?"
"I'm not sure."
"Well, it wasn't. I'm *very* sure."
Horatio smiled at that, and leaned his head back against the mast
to watch the glorious colors of the setting sun. If he had been
a philosophical young man, Horatio would have let his eyes drift
to the painted heavens and considered all that they had been through,
and what it meant to his journey in the world. He would have thought
of Morgan, and the Courageous, and Archie who despite all of his
efforts had in the end saved himself, and gained something in
the saving that Horatio could never have achieved for him, no
matter how hard he tried. He would have wondered why the ghosts
who had haunted him finally seemed to be at peace, and decided
that perhaps it was because he had learned to accept them as the
price of not taking the easy path. The ghosts, the pain, the terrible
weight of responsibility - they were not a burden to be shed,
or a mantle of shame to be hidden from sight. They were the price
of doing good, an inescapable part of accepting one's destiny,
and beyond the anguish and the suffering there was honor, and
wisdom, and strength. It was a price worth paying, at any cost.
But Horatio Hornblower was not a philosophical young man. He did
not think on any of these things, although they were in his heart;
he was simply not aware of their existence. He watched the sun
and knew only that he felt comfortable, that he was glad to be
at sea again, and looked forward to the next test of his mettle,
that he might prove himself worthy of the captain whose respect
he wanted, and the men who looked to him for guidance. He looked
into the riot of corals and vermilions that hung over his head
and had no overwhelming rapturous thoughts except that he was
happy to be there, happy that Archie was at his side, and happy
that everything had come out all right.
And it was out of that simple, unpoetic emotion that Horatio thought
of one final thing that had not been said yet, and needed saying,
to make himself feel completely whole again. He turned his head
and looked at Archie, whose thoughtful expression bore witness
to the sonnets running through his healing heart, and said, "Mr.
Kennedy?"
Archie cocked his head a little, but did not take his eyes off
the setting sun. "Hm?"
"Welcome back to Indefatigable."
Archie smiled, his fair face made glowing crimson in the final
rays of the setting sun, and even Horatio could see in it the
smile of a new dawn, and the grateful silent song of one who had
been found, and would never be lost again. "Thank you, Mr.
Hornblower. I am very glad to be home."
The End