Ode To Laudanum by Dr. Clive
Transcribed by Michele


When patients start to take their toll
And patience me evades,
When anxious worry grips my soul
And peace of mind doth fade:

I have a little bottle here
All fear and pain will calm;
For aches and falls mild or severe
I pre-scribe laudanum.

To use plain English -- To abate
The stripes on one's behind;
I vow I won't prevaricate
I'll firm announce my finds:

Paraphrenesis of the brain
Or lining, if you wish;
Inflamed meninges, or said plain --
He fall down and go SQUISH!!

To kiss the gunner's daughter,
To watch and watch so bold;
For mal-de-mer or battle's slaughter,
For falling down the hold --

I would not last without this flask,
My wig would not sit right,
I'd be not fit for any task
Without my nip each night.

So no matter what befall the ship --
Aground or slave or Don,
I know that I'll be fighting fit
'S long I have sweet laudanum.