A Beginner's Guide to Writing HH Fanfic
by Sarah

Note: This is a tounge in cheek 'guide' to writing HH fan fic. I've contributed to a Doctor
Who one before and I thought it would work for Hornblower. All comments welcome.

1. Remember who the star of the show is.

2. Conversations involving Hornblower, Bush and Kennedy usually go:

Hornblower makes observation or statement
Kennedy makes a joke about it
Bush tells them to stop messing about

e.g.
"This is going to be a long night," said Horatio.
"Every night is the same length, I don't see why this one should be any different," quipped
Kennedy.
"Don't be so disrespectful, Mr Kennedy," snapped Lt Bush.

3. Styles will inevitably get beaten up.

4. Matthews will help those in need and offer useful suggestions.

5. There is always at least one disgruntled/surly sailor.

6. Hornblower will always come up with the solution that no one else has spotted even if it
was blatantly obvious.

7. The ship must engage the enemy.

8. In the engagement a crew member that you've just got to like will be killed.

9. Horatio's curls will always fall in artful disarray about his face.*

10. Pellew will ignore everyone's advice, but Horatio's - even if he has committed some
heinous act.*

11. Horatio likes to dress up like a Frenchman (think about that one - I'm right).*

12. All Midshipmen have RSS (red shirt syndrome), particularly those who serve with
Hornblower.*

13. Horatio is the only officer who can swim...or at least bothers to use his skills.

14. The ship's doctor in invariably incompetent or drunk.

15. There is always a bottomless amount of crew, no matter how many get killed they still
keep coming.