All About Bracegirdle
by SSR

NAME: First Lieutenant Bertram Wilberforce "Brucie" Bracegirdle

LIVING ARRANGEMENT: A cabin aboard the HMS Indefatigable.

FAVORITE PASTIME: Dispensing unsolicited advice to my juniors. Long
may they remain so.

FAVORITE BOOK: I'm Ok, You're Ok.

THE BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Getting to stay onboard the Indy
while my juniors risk their lives on foreign soil with only a panicky
bit of blonde crumpet; a horny junior Leftenant, and a snotty,
foppish, hereditary, inbred aristocrat to hand.

THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD IS: Being Gammoned by Sailing Master
Bowles.

FAVORITE SMELLS: I love the smell of Oakum in the Morning.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING: Why
does Mrs. Bracegirdle insist on eating oreos in bed?

BATTLE: SCARY OR EXCITING: Don't know, I'm usually in the Captain's
Cabin looking sympathetic as he agonizes over Hornblower's latest boo-
boos and owies.

FAVORITE FOODS: Yes.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA: Yes.

STORMS, COOL OR SCARY: Don't know. I'm usually in the Captain's
cabin making sympathetic noises as he agonizes over whether or not
bloody Hornblower has been washed off the deck of the bloody Indy or
not. Bloody Hornblower.

FAVORITE DRINK: A celebratory tot of rum.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE: That
Captain Pellew would stop whining about Hornblower and pass the friggin' port.

IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF, WHAT WOULD IT BE: I'd
like to look like Hornblower so all the ladies would love me, too.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE: Mrs. Bracegirdle and I enjoy normal marital relations.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL: If Captain Pellew would cease
pacing about, agonizing over Hornblower, and pour the bloody port it
could be completely full.

WHAT'S IN YOUR ANXIETY CLOSET: Having to sully my uniform in a
boarding action.

WHAT'S YOUR LOFTIEST DREAM: To succeed Captain Pellew as Captain of
the Indy.

WHAT'S YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE: Four Words: Yes, SIR! Captain Foster!

WHAT DO YOU WISH PEOPLE KNEW ABOUT YOU THAT YOU FEEL THEY DON'T: That
the camera always adds 10 pounds.

WHAT OTHER HH CHARACTER WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANSWER THIS
QUESTIONNAIRE: Mr. Tapling. I'm Ziggy Stardust next to him.
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